Patrick storms out of a work party pouting just enough that Kevin notices and chases after him. Patrick gives his best “jilted lover but over it” impression before leaving Kevin to sulk and miss him. Sadly, this isn’t a victorious day for Patrick’s character, as his moment of strength is soon undercut by a scene of him pathetically jerking off at home, using his sock as a cum rag, then creeping his ex Richie’s Facebook page.
On Richie’s page, he finds out that Richie is in need of help from a man with a driver’s licence, and so Patrick immediately springs into action because he’s just that noble. But certainly not because he’s sad and looking for a rebound, because that would be so unlike him and nobody would expect that of this show.
It ends up that Richie is looking for someone to help him drive an ice-cream truck he plans on flipping and selling to hipsters to use as a food truck. Immediately I thought, Is he selling it to Dom? But alas, no. The rest of the episode plays similarly to last season’s date episode between these two, which was the best of the season, but this one is more meandering and has more to do with Patrick getting a peek at Richie’s urban, Latin roots.
Richie talks about getting around on his bad-ass skateboard as a kid, and Patrick counters by talking about putting around on his sister’s My Little Pony glitter bike until his daddy took it away. Richie takes Patrick for giant burritos and they talk about the size of the burritos and the current state of their romantic endeavours until Richie wipes food from Patrick’s face in a very cringe-worthy moment straight out of a bad rom-com. But seriously, dudes, they are just friends. Patrick delivers a great line that sums up his character perfectly: when he talks about leaving Kevin, he quips, “It just took me a little while to find out what everyone else already knew.”
Patrick struggles to pronounce Spanish words and meets Richie’s abrasive cousin, who we know hates wishy-washy white boys because she says it a few times, causing the often racially insensitive Patrick to scoff because he’s clueless like that. Everyone Richie and Patrick run into teases and makes Patrick feel awkward, so that was enjoyable. At the end of their little adventure, Patrick takes a moment to get real and apologizes for being a dick to Richie, but instead of stopping there, Patrick takes it further, because he’s a dick. He tells Richie that the night they broke up he slept with Kevin before they talked and that it wasn’t an easy decision for him to tell Richie he wasn’t ready. Richie is obviously hurt by the news, and while Patrick feels good for unburdening himself, poor Richie again has to be the better man. They agree to stay friends because apparently, Richie is a terrible judge of character, especially when it comes to dopey white guys. Oh, white guys, you are the worst.
The poz of being poz = sick days
Agustin makes a brief appearance in this episode and that’s okay. He goes to his new job at the LGBT youth shelter and finds out his friend Eddie is at home sick, so he runs over with some soup. It turns out that Eddie is just faking sick and taking a mental-health day. Agustin makes himself comfortable, rolls a joint and asks Eddie all about his HIV, because this is the most important thing about him. Eddie protests that it’s a bizarre line of questioning for about five seconds before a great scene where he teases Agustin’s preconceived notions with a tawdry lie about how he got infected. It turns out it was actually an ex, who had been lying about his status. After they fag out to some CeCe Peniston, because Agustin has a sexual interest in any character he isn’t friends with and talks to on this show, Agustin makes a move on Eddie. Eddie protests for about five seconds, and I get excited to see Agustin be flat out rejected, but then Eddie totally gives in, because why not? Ugh, this will not end well, but I’m positive that I don’t really care.
Sometimes you can go home again
The best scene in this episode is between Richie and Patrick when they discuss the levels of homophobia they have to deal with from their parents. We get the impression Richie’s dad isn’t a fan of the gays, and Patrick points out that his mom doesn’t love the idea either. The two touch on the very different kinds of homophobia served by their parents in a painful tit-for-tat that gay men often engage in when comparing our emotional scars. The idea of having to choose between not feeling like you can be yourself with your family or rejecting the notion of family altogether is one many gay men struggle with. Not all families are filled with raging homophobes, but there is a murky middle ground that a lot of gay men have to navigate that leaves them feeling detached from their families and struggling to keep them in their lives. Patrick even makes a good point in his own bumbling way: if you’re not dealing with raging, volatile homophobes, sometimes it’s better to mend a divide before it grows past the point of no return.
Pro: We didn’t see a bit of Dom or Doris in this episode and got lots and lots of Richie. Everybody wins. It doesn’t bode well for Dom and Doris’s story lines if I don’t miss them when they’re gone.
Con: Agustin’s eventual hookup with Eddie was a pointless distraction from the focus of this episode, and it would have been better for us to get a bit more in-depth with the issues in Patrick and Richie’s tale. Also, the scene with Kevin and his boyfriend John where they have a relatively boring, wannabe cute interaction at Kevin’s office after a few very brief scenes of Kevin pouting about Patrick was completely useless on all fronts. Cut, cut, cut.
Best line: “Are you disappointed it wasn’t Bukkake Sex Pig Party 666?” — Eddie talking about Agustin’s lack of excitement at finding out Eddie got HIV from a lying ex and not from being the pass-around party-bottom at an orgy.
Why you can trust Xtra
