The winner of Blitz & Shitz’s Queer Bash: Pride Farewell two-ticket giveaway (valued at $40) is Matt Bzdel, for his hilariously original and inspired obituary. Check it out (below), and I hope to see you all Sunday, July 31 at The Cobalt for the last Queer Bash. I’m already drinking my tears!
It is with utmost sorrow that we announce the passing of Miss QB, paragon of parties, diva of debauch. She was drunkenly riding her bicycle home when her feather boa got caught in the chain, sending her soaring through the air, shiny as a shooting star, right into a speeding car. Lying on the road, she reflected upon her life: flocks of fairies prancing, sexy sultry swaggers, nights of endless dancing, tummies full of Jäger, endless ass-squeezes and contracted diseases. Threesomes, foursomes, pour some more, son, ’til sunrise and then some. And thus, with no regrets, Miss QB shuts her shimmering eyes, dead upon the road. Her empire ends under empyrean. Now where ought all the ‘mos to go?
-Matt Bzdel
Why you can trust Xtra
