Prince Harry is naked

I’m not exactly a monarchist, and not just because I think the monarchy is a sham sustained by taxpayers, but because I think they’re all reptiles. Oh yes, I believe in conspiracy theories because they make life a little more fun and because it actually isn’t implausible that the royal family might be a coldblooded reptilian race. Just look at any picture of Queen Elizabeth. Her eyes always look like she’s drunk on the good stuff: Diana’s blood.

But satanic rituals aside, there’s just something about Harry . . .

TMZ has released exclusive pictures of Prince Harry naked in his Las Vegas hotel suite. Apparently the prince isn’t so great at “strip pool.” But something tells me the group of girls that he and his entourage reportedly found in their hotel bar and brought back up to their room didn’t mind. The pics are grainy and censored (TMZ obviously wants the blood in their bodies to stay in their bodies, and not be Sunday dinner at Buckingham Palace). There’s no official word yet on who the lucky skank he’s mounting is, or if the carpet matches the drapes.

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