PICK OF THE WEEK: The Lair

Toothless blood suckers

If — as HereTV founder Paul Colichman says on the gay cable station’s website — the gay vampire serial The Lair was intended to “reclaim the horror genre for gay audiences,” it might have been helpful if the writers, director, or anyone involved with the show had ever watched a horror movie before making it.

Actually, anyone who’s seen Interview with the Vampire or Buffy knows that the reclaiming-the-horror-genre -for-gay-audiences ship has already sailed and had gay sex at every port.

What’s more, where gay vampires should be sexy, dangerous, and at least a little fabulous, The Lair instead gives us bland vampires whose greatest ambition appears to be running an underground sex club where guys wearing leather straps have softcore orgies.

Yawn.

Is leather really the freakiest thing the writers could come up with?

The Lair’s plot centres around gay journalist David Moretti as he looks into a string of strange gay murders and is tipped off about a gay club called — you guessed it — The Lair, that might have been connected to the case. There, he finds a lot of soft-core sex, but nothing interesting, until head vampire Peter Stickles mistakenly takes Moretti to be the reincarnation of the vampire who created him.

Why do the vampires run a gay sex club? Boredom? To lure in victims? Isn’t that a bit obvious? And wouldn’t it be more appropriate — and make more sense — for their victims to be straight men?

How many vampires are there? What else do they do? How often do they kill? Why should I care? Since the vampires never appear to actually do anything, the stakes are incredibly low.

I’ll be charitable with the poor cinematography and softcore-level dialogue, but in order for this show to work, it really needs to either be a lot more camp or a lot more scary.

Preferably both.

Rob Salerno is a playwright and journalist whose writing has appeared in such publications as Vice, Advocate, NOW and OutTraveler.

Read More About:
Books, Culture, Vancouver, Arts, Media

Keep Reading

Japanese katana samurai sword hang in air over Black background isolated.

Saying goodbye to ‘Kill Bill’

Quentin Tarantino’s martial arts epic has been tainted by shocking revelations about what went down behind the scenes. Can it be redeemed?

‘Canada’s Drag Race’ Season 6, Episode 5 power ranking: Chatty chicks

The talk show maxi-challenge puts the queens’ charisma to the test
Sami Landri

‘Canada’s Drag Race’ Season 6, Episode 5 recap: Hot in ‘The Shade’

A talk show challenge sees a “made-for-tv” queen take the win
A collage with colour images of Cole Escola and Anania, black and white images of Gavin Newsom and Bari Weiss, and the numbers 2025 against an abstract pink and white background

Righteous queens and shady bitches of 2025

Here are the main characters that made, and broke, the year in queer