Pandemonium as Hooters runs out of blue cheese dressing

Devastated diner resorted to dill pickle, was ‘mortified’

A near riot ensued at a downtown Hooters on Wednesday after the proprietors announced they had run out of blue cheese dressing.

Diners at the Hooters told Straight Xtra that just after 6pm, waitresses came around to each table to explain they could no longer offer the dressing with wings, but would be happy to offer dill pickle or hot sauce instead.

“Dill pickle?” said Gary Wessling, who had been at Hooters since 3pm with a couple of buddies who had all decided to skip work that afternoon. “Why don’t they just vomit in my mouth?”

Many of the diners angrily demanded refunds or vouchers for future meals, some going as far as threatening to topple the Hooters wing heat-o-meter, a large tower that announces when someone has ordered suicide wings.

“We demand blue cheese,” said Wessling.

While Hooters official spokesperson declined to comment on this story, a source at the restaurant says that the mishap is the result of human error. “That fucker from the food supply company really fucked me over,” the souce said.

Blue cheese dressing, invented in 1956 by housewife Pamela Schwiber after her husband requested a salad dressing that combined his favoured scent of rotting milk with a slimy texture, has since become a popular accompaniment with wings, onion rings, deep fried snickers bars and a whole host of other foods often found at downtown sports bars or mid-western county fairs.

But not all the diners were so upset. Don Wilson, an accountant who admitted he lied to his wife about working late so he could go to dinner at Hooters, said that he didn’t mind going without the blue cheese dressing. “As long as the TV is working, right?” he asked through bites of a turkey club sandwich.

Happy April 1, from all of us at Daily Xtra!

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