There’s an up-side to writing this column at the end of the night: sure, I run the risk of getting scooped on all the good stories, but every once in a while, a story will land in my lap at the twilight hour and it will be pure comedic gold.
Case in point: I just finished watching the Golden Globes (how I’m still awake, I’ll never know), and despite being kind of bland and useless, it did offer one awesome moment:
Madonna’s acceptance speech for Best Original Song.
Here’s the thing: despite the fact that I and everyone I know who saw her directorial debut, WE, thought it was a steaming vat of Santorum garnished with a syphilitic cock (I’m giving her way too much credit, I know), she somehow won the award for Best Original Song. And her acceptance speech was basically one long “Fuck you, I’m so awesome” to everyone in the room. I am not joking about this. The look on people’s faces while she delivers her self-righteous little speech as they try to shoot daggers out of their eyes into her creepy gargoyle arms is quite possibly one of the best things I’ve ever seen. Take a look:
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