Lady Gaga is… chola Jesus!

The video for Lady Gaga’s “Judas” has just been released. Upon looking out the window and seeing no portals into the depths of hell being torn in the fabric of space and time, I’m guessing that bit about how Lady Gaga is some sort of antichrist who will doom us all to a glittery disco hell are bullshit. I know, bummer right?

Anyway, the video itself is… Meh. Just meh. Basically, just imagine a really loose interpretation of the New Testament. Only with motorcycles. And cholas. And a lipstick gun that I’m guessing is a reference to Bayonetta. (You’re welcome, gay nerds!) As far as Gaga videos go, I’m not too impressed. At this point, the only way Lady Gaga could surprise me is if she came out wearing a sweater and some sensible shoes. That’s right: come dressed like my Nana and maybe we’ll talk. Until then, you’d better throw away the glittery thorn crowns and your weird, Toblerone-like face implants. Bitches best come correct.

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