I really tried to avoid Madonna’s “Give Me All Your Luvin.” I really did. It’s not that it’s a bad video; I just knew that as soon as it dropped, every gay boy would be on it like Kim Kardashian on a black dick (THE BITCH KNOWS I CALLED DIBS!).
And I was doing so well letting everyone else have their precious Madonna until it happened: like a gift from the invisible bearded giant who lives in the sky, someone at Logo noticed something peculiar about Madonna’s jacket. What you’re about to see cannot be unseen here either:
Yes, Madonna’s newest reinvention is . . . Sharon Needles.
Sorry, I didn’t imbue that with the level of gravitas it deserved. The one, the only, the future winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race and the fiercest demon queen ever to claw her way out of R’lyeh, Sharon Needles. Turns out, Madonna and Sharon Needles both rocked the exact same jacket, although I have to admit, Sharon pulled it off way better.
Although all in all, it makes perfect sense that Madonna would choose Sharon Needles as her next reinvention. Both drink the blood of virgins (Madonna in order to maintain her youth, Sharon just for the taste), both must sleep during the day buried in their native soils, and both have eight-inch cocks. I’ve seen them both with my own eyes!