Harmless: The Christian Movie About Porn Monsters

Maybe it’s the fact that I just saw Cabin in the Woods last night (and if you’ve seen it: HOW AWESOME WAS THAT MOVIE. I mean, the ending didn’t make much sense, but still . . . goddammit. Every time I come, I’m going to shout “JOSS WHEDON!” for like, a week), but I have high standards for horror movies right now. The campier, the scarier, the better.

But Harmless, a Christian horror movie about a family being haunted by — and I shit you not, this is the actual plot of the movie — a demon trapped in a box of porn. Which sounds fucking amazing. Yes, I know, no one keeps porn in a box anymore, and I know it’s all online, and the message behind the movie is so absurdly antiquated and wrong-headed that the entire thing collapses in on itself like a white star of unlogic. But I don’t care. A movie this stupid and unaware of its own stupidity will simply turn around into pure camp. Viewing party at my place if it’s ever released!

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