Get ready for ‘Rob Ford: The Motion Picture’

If Breaking Bad has taught us anything, it’s that people love stories about hardcore drug use and moral apathy. So they’re making a Rob Ford movie. Our Pride-dodging, rainbow-hating mayor is making his way to the big screen.

Well, potentially anyway. According to CBC News, Toronto Star reporter Robyn Doolittle has reportedly sold the film and television rights to her book, Crazy Town: The Rob Ford Story, to Toronto-based Blue Ice Pictures.

Blue Ice Pictures executive Daniel Iron praised Doolittle’s book, saying that it is “a story about the city in which I have lived my entire life and has great political, cultural and civic meaning to me,” as well as “a testament to dogged, fearless and exemplary journalism. We are excited to be working with Ms Doolittle to bring this story to the screen.”

Of course, the matter of casting has already come up, but there is only one man for this role: Seán Cullen. Fuck everyone else. If you’re going to cast for a Canadian movie, you’re casting Seán Cullen, a man more Canadian than hockey fights and apologizing*.

I’m going to try not to veer into righteous indignation here, but . . . Yeah, congrats, Ford! You suck so hard at being mayor, a production company wants to make a movie about how badly you suck at being mayor. Take a bow. You earned it, dearie.

*For the hockey fights.

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