Drinkify me, captain!

As we all know, booze and music go together like chocolate and peanut butter, or Bert and Ernie, or Jennifer Connelly and a double-sided dildo in Requiem for a Dream. Now, a new website called Drinkify has gone the extra step and will tell you what you should drink while listening to your favourite artist. For shits and giggles, I threw my iPod on shuffle, and here are 10 musician-drink pairings to show you how it works:

Lana Del Rey

  • 4 oz Fernet
  • 4 oz coconut milk
  • Verdict – Sweet. A little too sweet.

Antony and the Johnsons

  • 4 oz vodka
  • 4 oz cough
  • 6 oz “rum, fucking rum”
  • Verdict – The room is spinning.

Neko Case

  • 8 oz moonshine
  • 8 oz cranberry juice
  • Verdict – Burns so fucking good.

Liz Phair

  • 12 oz moonshine
  • Verdict – GYAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Robyn

  • 4 oz vodka
  • Verdict – That is slightly better. Slightly.

Metric

  • 8 oz vodka
  • Verdict – These aren’t even drinks! This site is trying to fucking kill me!

The Go! Team

  • 8 oz rum
  • Verdict – Once again: that is not called a cocktail. That is called “problem alcoholism.”

Modest Mouse

  • PBR
  • Verdict – Oh thank God. I don’t even care that PBR is basically just foot sweat drunk ironically by emotionally draining hipsters. I’m just thankful it’s not trying to Amy Winehouse me to death for once.

Spinnerette

  • 8 oz marijuana
  • 8 oz ice cream
  • Verdict – What the . . . What the fucking fuck is this? That’s not even liquid! Now it’s just telling me to get high and eat ice cream!

Feist

  • 8 oz microbrew
  • 8 oz Tabasco sauce
  • 10 oz cream
  •  
  • Verdict – Drinkify can fuck its own mother.

Keep Reading

Marlon James in front of the Disappearers book cover

Marlon James’s disappearing act

The superstar author’s new novel, “The Disappearers,” has gained buzz beyond belief. He’s earned it
Samantha Josephs in front of the cover of 'Carrying'

Samantha Josephs gets dirty

The author of “Carrying” talks writing erotica, trans pregnancy—and her novel’s upcoming movie adaptation
A cartoon of two people standing close together; one is holding a puppy, the other is holding a book

How a Canadian kids’ book became the centre of a U.S. Supreme Court case

“Pride Puppy” was written to highlight the joy of Pride. It became a political flashpoint
A cartoon of people raising their fists with police officers facing them. There are flowers in the background

Queer censorship isn’t new in Canada, but we’ve won the fight before

Key figures from censorship fights in the 20th century reflect on what we can learn from them today
Advertisement