Drinkify me, captain!

As we all know, booze and music go together like chocolate and peanut butter, or Bert and Ernie, or Jennifer Connelly and a double-sided dildo in Requiem for a Dream. Now, a new website called Drinkify has gone the extra step and will tell you what you should drink while listening to your favourite artist. For shits and giggles, I threw my iPod on shuffle, and here are 10 musician-drink pairings to show you how it works:

Lana Del Rey

• 4 oz Fernet
• 4 oz coconut milk
• Verdict – Sweet. A little too sweet.

Antony and the Johnsons

• 4 oz vodka
• 4 oz cough
• 6 oz “rum, fucking rum”
• Verdict – The room is spinning.

Neko Case

• 8 oz moonshine
• 8 oz cranberry juice
• Verdict – Burns so fucking good.

Liz Phair

• 12 oz moonshine
• Verdict – GYAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Robyn

• 4 oz vodka
• Verdict – That is slightly better. Slightly.

Metric

• 8 oz vodka
• Verdict – These aren’t even drinks! This site is trying to fucking kill me!

The Go! Team

• 8 oz rum
• Verdict – Once again: that is not called a cocktail. That is called “problem alcoholism.”

Modest Mouse

• PBR
• Verdict – Oh thank God. I don’t even care that PBR is basically just foot sweat drunk ironically by emotionally draining hipsters. I’m just thankful it’s not trying to Amy Winehouse me to death for once.

Spinnerette

• 8 oz marijuana
• 8 oz ice cream
• Verdict – What the . . . What the fucking fuck is this? That’s not even liquid! Now it’s just telling me to get high and eat ice cream!

Feist

• 8 oz microbrew
• 8 oz Tabasco sauce
• 10 oz cream
 
• Verdict – Drinkify can fuck its own mother.