Deep Dish Toronto

Dirty Sexy Party, Fri, Oct 4 @ Fly

The whispers spread. The word on the dancefloor of this post-modern club is that he is, gasp, straight. But how could this be? He looks like a typical gay bottom-boy who decided after short careers in what must have been ballet and gymnastics (his dance moves and upside-down leg splits are most impressive) that he might as well get some cold hard cash out of his smooth bubble butt and become a dancing underwear model. But here he is, Quinn Jaxon, peeling off his patented bulge-thrusting Andrew Christian underwear onstage at Fly as Dirty Sexy Party hosts Sofonda and Joseph Patrick egg on the crowd. “This is our last time at Fly. Next month we head back to Club120,” they announce, sadly, before picking one tipsy twink after another to join Quinn onstage. Now there are five (one for each finger) half naked, horny guys (and one fully clothed woman) onstage shamelessly rubbing each other up. Where’d that baby oil come from? Whose hand is that? What’s that sucking noise? I swear that guy had a ring on his finger a minute ago. This is why I love being gay. You would rarely find this messiness happening in a straight club, and if you did, most of those involved would be ugly as fuck. Tonight they’re just ready to fuck. Mostly. I, of course, am standing firm.

Art with Heart, Tues, Oct 8 @ The Carlu

The whispers spread. The word on the floor of this art deco theatre is that, gasp, a certain work by a certain photographer will soon be auctioned off. The photo is carried to the front of the stage by two bicep-gifted TD boys, and the bidding reaches fever pitch. Edward Burtynsky’s Colorado River Delta #3, valued at $18,000, sells for a jaw-dropping, crotch-bulging $32,000. Money gets me hard. This is good news for the 20th annual Art with Heart benefit for Casey House, held at The Carlu. It’s a happy turnaround for the organization, which needs the money to build a state-of-the-art, four-storey AIDS hospice and out-patient hospital at Jarvis and Isabella streets. Last year bids were hard to come by. But with long-time auctioneer Stephen Ranger goading bidders on with lines like “You know you want it” and “We all like a happy ending” and wine stewards filling glasses after just one gulp, bids are exploding all around the room like a currency orgasm. It’s pretty much all thick wallets and thinning hair, with some wonderful exceptions, like interior designer Glenn Dixon, HGTV’s Tommy Smythe, photo-grapher Patrick Lightheart, Fashion magazine’s Elio Iannacci and a newly thin and prim John Kenyon. “This year’s curatorial team did an excellent job of reaching out to the collectors of this year’s artists,” Smythe says. “They got asses into seats.” I, of course, am left standing.