Halloween’s tomorrow and you haven’t got a costume yet? Me neither! Sure, we could just go as ourselves — since gay people are apparently scarier than Paranormal Activity — but if you want something a bit flashier, here’s some last-minute ideas:

Scary Costume: Joe Jackson

Michael’s father is a bigger monster than Frankenstein!

Superhero Costume: Elton John

I hope I can pull off such acrobatic moves when I’m 80!

Political Costume: An egg

A Colorado initiative insists that ovum should have the legal
rights of a person. In 2012, Sarah Palin will become president thanks to the new voters in the produce aisle:

Sexy Costume: The Chinese Fruit Bat

An environmental
blog writes, “Prepare to enter the fascinating world of fruit bat
fellatio.” Oh scientists, you had me at hello!

Party Costume: Yet Another South Carolina Family Values Republican

Damn, these right-wingers know how to party — in a cemetary, no less:

Drag Costume: Matthew Shepard as Dolly Parton

Judy reveals that she knew her son was gay after young Matt went out as the Backwoods Barbie three years in a row. That is both the cutest and most bittersweet thing I’ve heard all week.

Movie Costume: Brokeback Mountain 2