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Why should girls get to have all the fun at Halloween?
Halloween often means women dressed in skimpy nurse costumes, in seductive Elvira outfits and as provocative French maids.
So Xtra found a few sexy options for men this year.
Halloween is one of the biggest holidays for the gays, with many of us choosing our costumes months in advance. It’s a tough decision, because if you’re going to turn tricks for treats this Halloween, you’ll need more than just a squirt of blood and some makeup — you’ll need a sexy, topical costume that will impress all the boys.
In case you’ve procrastinated on your costume research, here are a few of Xtra’s favourite costumes for 2013.
Christian Grey, from Fifty Shades
Now that Charlie Hunnam has backed out of the film’s production, there’s a hole waiting to be filled in the cast of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie — are you the one to fill that hole?
Grab a ball gag, dress up in a fancy suit and keychain some anal beads to your belt loops. For added effect, instead of asking for phone numbers, carry around a document that legally binds people to do your sexual bidding.
Rub one out with the Genie and Aladdin
With the musical hitting Toronto’s Ed Mirvish Theatre on Nov 1, Aladdin will be one of the most talked-about performances of the winter season. With Halloween on the eve of the production’s debut, why not go as the hot Arabian boy or his magical man-slave, Genie. If you choose the latter, wear metallic-golden underwear and call it your lamp. Tell people that if they rub you out of it, all of their wishes will cum true.
Homo-heroic men in tights
Superhero costumes are always popular, but with sequels to Thor, Captain America, The Avengers, X-Men and a Batman vs Superman movie all coming out soon, superhero costumes are more topical than ever.
If you’re worried about filling Batman’s shoes, don’t be — because no matter how bad you are, chances are people will still like your Batman more than they like Ben Affleck’s.
American Horror Story’s rubber man
Okay, so this season is all about the witches, but nevertheless, the rubber man from Season 1 is one of the spookiest yet oddly arousing creatures Xtra has ever seen on the show (besides Angela Bassett’s hulking black minotaur boyfriend in the current season, sploosh). This costume is an easy purchase from any bondage shop, and you can continue to wear it in the bedroom year-round. Just avoid any fire-poker foreplay . . .
Machete Kills’ La Camaleón
Machete Kills has been one of the most anticipated movies of 2013. With actors such as Sofía Vergara, Michelle Rodriguez and Mel Gibson, the movie is a star-studded affair.
But one of the most talked-about celebrity appearances in the film is Lady Gaga, who plays the assassin and master of disguise, La Camaleón.
The bright side to this costume is that the character changes appearances so many times — even changing between genders, so anybody can play the part of La Camaleón. Muy bien indeed.
Your opposite gay label
With hookup apps like Grindr, Squirt and Hornet, 2013 is all about the labels.
Say boo to online labels and dress up as the type of gay that’s the farthest from who you are. For example, if you’re a bear, wear a tight T-shirt and dress up as a twink. Add short-shorts and some poppers and you’re ready for the club.
For the twinks, glue on some chest hair, throw on a leather jacket and add some fuzzy ears for your stereotypical bear costume.
Are you feminine? There’s nothing wrong with that. Stick it to anyone who says otherwise by dressing up as a “discreet straight acting, no fems” chat-room elitist by putting on a morph suit and taping a photo of solid abs to the front of it. Refuse to show your face all night and start conversations by saying you’re looking only for friends — then whip out your dick before they get a chance to reply.
The cast of Orange Is the New Black
We haven’t forgotten about the ladies. A great thing about a show with such a diverse cast is the amount of costume possibilities. There’s a costume for everyone, so throw on an orange/beige jumpsuit and dress yourself as Piper, Alex, Sophia or throw on some fake teeth and be Lindsay Lohan — err . . . Tiffany.
Or, if you’re taking a more butch approach this year, grow (or draw) some facial hair and go as Pornstache. If you’re cursed with eternal babyface, dress as officer Bennett.
Other fun costume ideas include a “monster cock” (which involves dressing up as a giant penis and giving it a monster twist, such as vampire fangs or Frankenstein bolts), Gatsby — a perfect costume for any venue other than a pool party, and finally, the new NBC series Hannibal is a great show to check out for creepy yet sexy adult costume ideas.
Just be wary of asking about eating somebody out — they may get the wrong idea.
Happy Halloween!
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