The other day I had quite a talk with my buddy Raul about, of all things, pig sex. Raul told me about the sexual adventures his friend Tim had in Cawthra Square Park the night of the blackout.
“Three loads Tim took up his ass fucking there during the blackout. He’s a total pig,” Raul said.
“A pig for taking it raw, or for letting three guys in a row fuck him?” I asked.
“Both,” Raul answered. “Although real pig sex begins with barebacking.”
Raul is 35, HIV-positive, and classifies himself as a pig. An off-putting classification if you see yourself somewhere above that part of the food chain. But not one that should be knocked until you’ve wallowed in the sexual muck yourself, as the dirty pig boys who’ve fed on barnyard sensory overload will tell you.
My pig pal Raul uses condoms when guys ask him to, but scoffs at the idea that safe sex is true pig sex. Which sent me sniffing for more. I talked to a variety of men about what they were looking for in pig sex – and whether condoms could be part of the deal.
Pigs specifically wanting raw sex are easier to find than ever, Raul pointed out to me, and he’s right. Because with hugely popular phone lines and sex hook-up websites you can clearly sniff out your oinky wants without awkward face-to-face negotiations. A cursory search through one site using keywords like “bareback,” “bb,” “pig sex” or “raunch” can yield hundreds of Toronto ads. That’s the beauty of phone lines and the ‘net: you need never wallow in the muck alone. Enjoy your pig sex in single servings, or super-size your order and scarf up some sloppy group action.
Finding a whole new world of like-minded pig players to hook up with so easily is perhaps one reason why men are becoming more confident and aggressive about pursuing their most piggish sexual desires. And while the virtues of pig sex may not be everyone’s cup of piss, for many pig players those virtues are intrinsic to the powerful abandonment aspect many pursue with animal enthusiasm. Emphasis is often on an uninhibited or cavalier attitude, an attitude that’s open to making sweat, stink, spit and urine part of a good pig session – and a great way to start the day.
And for some, cum is also on the menu. That’s where matters get complicated, considering that barebacking among all men who have sex with men is on the rise and statistics show more of us are having high-risk sex now than we have in more than 10 years.
For many pig players, their strongest sexual desires are informed by the innate need to let go, making barebacking the ultimate way to experiencing the full abandonment they crave. After you’ve tongued his boots, sucked his face off, devoured his pits, drunk his piss through his jockstrap and blown his burly buddy, what’s the next step to abandonment nirvana – taking him raw or fumbling with an uncooperative rubber? And that’s without adding the influence of pot, poppers or chemicals often used to take things to a higher level.
These aren’t the habits of all pigs – many remain safe players and many don’t do drugs – but even those who try to play it safe end up going bareback once in a while. Temptation rides high when you’re playing in the sty.
With the men I talked to, pig sex is a much more intense experience than its better-behaved sister, vanilla. As crude and laughable as the term is, it’s often a complexly powerful experience complicated by primal and potent desires for intimacy, unfulfilled sexual appetites and, for some, growing impatience with safe sex.
Alex, 25, is HIV-negative and says pig sex is “when you are guided by your base instincts, giving up society’s ideas about what’s normal or right or not.”
Alex often sees barebacking in pig scenes at the baths, during on-line hook-ups, or when playing with other pig buddies at a party. Alex has also had HIV-negative boyfriends he has barebacked with.
“I don’t believe I just happen to be playing with only HIV-positive guys who bareback. Some must be poz, but they can’t all be. Some must be negative and barebacking anyway. Often players I’m with don’t even know each other’s names and in it goes without a rubber.”
Alex tells me of a drug-fuelled four-way he had this summer that palpably lost its pig-vibe when he turned out to be the only guy interested in using condoms.
“I have no judgment if other guys bareback each other, but I don’t want to fuck raw,” he says. “Actually I do. So it takes everything in me to stay safe. I mean, you’re high, you’re lying on some guy’s bathroom floor covered in his spit and piss, you’re so horny that your body’s going to explode, he spreads your ass and slides in. I don’t even think condom right away. My driving thought is how much I need his dick.”
Pat, 60, is HIV-positive and says he’s seeing more barebacking than ever before.
“I see guys who want a guy’s seed inside him and it seems to me like it’s a personal fetish they have. Taking a man’s cum is their ultimate goal. That’s a pig for you. One buddy of mine is all about having my body fluids in him. We use our spit for lube and he lets me piss inside him. And cum, of course.”
For Pat, the question of HIV status rarely come up. He mainly plays with hook-ups he makes on the ‘net, some of whom become repeats, fellow barebackers especially. He plays occasionally at the baths and at private parties.
“I don’t wish HIV on anyone, but it sure makes things simpler. Negotiating rubbers in Toronto is difficult. There’s even skills-building workshops in smaller cities on moving to a place like Toronto and staying negative.”
Paul, 41, is HIV-positive and only barebacks.
“Pig sex is having no inhibitions sexually and bringing your most primal urges and behaviours into a scene,” says Paul. “The whole ‘breed me’ thing is like the female wanting to receive the male’s sperm, it’s one of the most ancient instincts programmed into us.”
Paul stopped using condoms in the mid-1990s. “I needed that same intimacy with my partner. When he died I was always happy to have had his seed in me, to have part of him in me. I still am. Barebacking is the most piggish indulgence you can partake in.”
Dave, 58, is adamant about making the point that not all pigs have raw sex. He is an experienced HIV-negative pig who never rides bare, though he concedes he has the same temptations as others.
“Pig sex starts in the mind when you let barriers and inhibitions down you normally don’t without really knowing someone,” he says. “For me pig sex involves spit and piss, so you’re dealing with body fluids already. That’s why it’s very tempting when you have pig sex to fuck without a condom: pre-cum and sperm are the next level. I’m old enough that I’ve done both, barebacking in the ’60s and ’70s but safe since.”
For Ryan, 35 and HIV-negative, pig sex is an exchange of intimacy for him to explore his “base self” with another person.
“Pig sex is physical, emotional and spiritual, even when it’s with a total stranger,” Ryan says. “When you bareback there’s a silent exchange of intimacy that’s extremely powerful, although it’s often not spoken about. Now that I’ve tasted it I have a hard time putting a rubber on. If I’m on top of a guy sucking his armpits and he spreads his ass open, I’m in, skin-on-skin, spitting in his face while I fuck him.”
Does Ryan worry about HIV?
“Yes, of course. I know the AIDS drugs aren’t a cure. But I’ve been safe for years and this sounds terrible, but I’m tired of it. Sex is so important to me and I want it all.”
Ron, 39, has played safe for 20 years and remains HIV-negative. But his perspective is changing.
“Two decades of safe play. Good for me,” says Ron. “But here’s what’s been going on in the meantime: my sexual growth. You don’t just become a pig overnight. It’s experience after experience that builds up until you just can’t go back to anything vanilla. Vanilla sex, if you want to label that the opposite of pig sex, is not for me. It bores me and doesn’t satisfy me. But when vanilla was what I was into it was a lot easier to slip on a condom. I’ve grown to a point where I feel trapped…. Barebacking seems like the next step. A very easy step to take if I want. It’s one boundary I’ve never touched.”
Ron’s dilemma is typical of the guys I talked to. He knows all the reasons why he should have safe sex, but his feelings are leading him in the other direction. and he’s losing patience with the struggle between the two.
“We deal with sex like it’s got an on and off switch,” says Ron. “I read some lesbian in the press ranting about how irresponsible it is to not wear condoms. Fuck her. If she had to wear a dental dam for two decades, how would she like it? What an insult. Sex is complicated.”
Oink.
* Shaun Proulx can be reached at www.shaunproulxmedia.com
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