Michael Venus: Well, how in the hell are you, Honey?

Honey: I’m great. I have a new boy, I’ve been travelling quite a bit, I’m having breast augmentation soon. I’m doing great!

MV: Where have you been travelling to lately?

Honey: This past year I have been to Paris, Brussels, Barcelona, San Fran, Chicago, and Toronto. In the next couple of months I will be going to Israel, Brazil, Australia, London and Miami.

MV: Well, well, aren’t we an international jetsetter, gorgeous?

Honey: A girl has to keep her clients happy.

MV: Where would you say are your favourite places to play and visit?

Honey: It would probably have to be Toronto and London. Those two cities have such an appreciation for music and a love of dance. It’s always a pleasure to play in those places.

MV: What are some highlights of your career?

Honey: Getting to see the world, share music with others, meeting new people and having great experiences. It has opened me up in more ways than one. And the foreskin.

MV: Give our utterly fantastic readers here at Xtra West a little herstory lesson-How Honey Dijon came to be.

Honey: Honey Dijon is a product of obscenely rich parents. I exploited everyone that I possibly could to become the utterly stunning individual that you see before you-very Madonna, don’t you think?

MV: A material girl, that’s for sure! So what’s your favourite thing about Vancooter?

Honey: The air and your hairy back! Seriously, though, I think the city is really beautiful. I also love the fake meats from Veggie Favor that you find here. Like no other place on earth.

MV: Okay, let’s get a little more intimate, Helen. You are a very beautiful knockout who sends off a lot of sexual appeal. Are you a fierce cat in heat, or what?

Honey: What a stupid-ass question, bitch!

MV: I’ve heard you have a boyfriend; tell me all about him.

Honey: He is wonderful. I met him in NYC and he is an aspiring DJ himself, who utterly loves and adores me. What more can a girl ask for. Oh, and he has a nice cock!

MV: Speaking of cock, what is your favourite sex act, position and part of his body and why?

Honey: My favourite part of his body is his stomach and hips. He’s an ex-raver, so he wears his jeans really low on his hips with no shirt on and bare feet. Hot! Plus he has lots of tattoos all over his chest. He’s a hottie.

MV: What do you prefer? Giving a blowjob deepthroat style or getting fucked really hard?

Honey: I like it all, but armpits and feet are really a big turn on for me and my boyfriend loves to shrimp me while he’s fucking me. Deeeeelicious.

MV: Do you ever top?

Honey: I’m always on top-my back, my knees, his cock!

MV: Do you spit or swallow?

Honey: I swallow it, then spit it right back up. I like to experience all great things twice.

MV: What are some other things besides sex, and spinning and mixing records, that you enjoy doing?

Honey: I love art and fashion just as much as DJing and making tunes. I also do a lot of yoga. I really want to go back to art school so that I can expand my creative side. I’m what you may call a glamorous hippie. Plus cruising cute skate-punk boys with lots of tattoos.

MV: Future plans?

Honey: To make records. That is my main goal for the ’04! I really want to take being a DJ to another level and add recording artist to my résumé. I also want to keep putting out dope shit on my record label called Peaches. I love working with really creative people and sharing music with the world.

MV: Any advice for up and coming DJs or young up and coming transgendered sexpots?

Honey: Believe in yourself and surround yourself with honest, loving people. Be the best that you can be. Do your homework. Never compare yourself to others-there is only one you-and give the best of yourself. If that doesn’t work, a plastic surgeon can help.

MV: Any final lasting impressions?

Honey: Get a back wax and take an Altoid. I love ya, girl.

VALENTINE’S EXTRAVAGANZA.

With DJ Honey Dijon.

Feb 14, 2 am.

Gorg-o-Mish.

695 Smithe St.

$25 at Obstruction on Davie St.