In case the dwindling number of pages left on your calendar and the drunken assholes in novelty 2012 glasses haven’t tipped you off already, the year is almost over. With the wave of Grabby-bait from gay porn studios receding, it’s time to look back on the year that was and all the things that made it great.
1/ Fisting
For the past couple years, double penetration was the token stunt position, because everyone knows that two dicks are better than one. But 2011 upped the ante by going for full-blown fisting. Despite being a niche fetish, it became more prevalent in mainstream porn as Jesse Santana, Erik Rhodes and Race Cooper showed off their handballing skills. The fact that all this went down the same year the Muppets, also known for having hands shoved up their asses, made their return to the big screen is probably just a coincidence, but I like to think this was all planned ahead of time.
2/ Sign all the models!
Trying to keep track of which pornstar ended up at which studio this year is like taking a head count at a dark-room gangbang: absolutely impossible. Kennedy Carter signed with CockyBoys, Samuel Colt shacked up with Lucas Entertainment, Tony Buff joined Raging Stallion . . . Long story short, everyone is fucking everyone. Way simpler.
3/ Everyone hates Spencer Fox
Making fun of newcomer Spencer Fox was like fishing in a barrel with dynamite — if the fish were insane and the water was pure, liquid crazy. Fox spent the year trashing porn studios, sending death threats to bloggers and publishing homophobic blog posts. In the end, Fox’s short-lived career crashed and burned so hard, kamikaze pilots use his porn movies as instructional videos.
4/ Everyone loves Jessie Colter
On the opposite end of the spectrum from Fox was fellow newcomer Jessie Colter. Colter’s combination of scruffy good looks, his power-bottoming skills and a technique that fans lovingly refer to as “The Arch” incited a fandom that borders on Belieberism. The only real difference between Colter and Bieber being that Colter actually has talent.
5/ Everyone tried singing
Okay, yes — gay pornstars have tried launching singing careers in the past, but never was it more entertaining than this year’s batch. Mitch Branson released an album, Chris Porter reinvented himself as Double Dose, and Brent Corrigan fucked his way into a musical, but none did it better than Zeb Atlas, with his cover of Diana Ross’s “Love Hangover,” a music video so bad it looped past good, double-lapped bad and crashed into absolute fucking genius. It was basically the American Horror Story of gay pornstar singles: objectively weird, but the flashiness, energy and relentless commitment to the act made it wholly enjoyable and a lot of fun to watch.
And so we say goodbye to 2011, a year that, even when it wasn’t necessarily good, at least made things interesting. And that’s about all that we can ask for, really.
Why you can trust Xtra
