As we all know, booze and music go together like chocolate and peanut butter, or Bert and Ernie, or Jennifer Connelly and a double-sided dildo in Requiem for a Dream. Now, a new website called Drinkify has gone the extra step and will tell you what you should drink while listening to your favourite artist. For shits and giggles, I threw my iPod on shuffle, and here are 10 musician-drink pairings to show you how it works:
- 4 oz Fernet
- 4 oz coconut milk
- Verdict – Sweet. A little too sweet.
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- 4 oz vodka
- 4 oz cough
- 6 oz “rum, fucking rum”
- Verdict – The room is spinning.
- 8 oz moonshine
- 8 oz cranberry juice
- Verdict – Burns so fucking good.
- 12 oz moonshine
- Verdict – GYAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
- 4 oz vodka
- Verdict – That is slightly better. Slightly.
- 8 oz vodka
- Verdict – These aren’t even drinks! This site is trying to fucking kill me!
- 8 oz rum
- Verdict – Once again: that is not called a cocktail. That is called “problem alcoholism.”
- PBR
- Verdict – Oh thank God. I don’t even care that PBR is basically just foot sweat drunk ironically by emotionally draining hipsters. I’m just thankful it’s not trying to Amy Winehouse me to death for once.
- 8 oz marijuana
- 8 oz ice cream
- Verdict – What the . . . What the fucking fuck is this? That’s not even liquid! Now it’s just telling me to get high and eat ice cream!
- 8 oz microbrew
- 8 oz Tabasco sauce
- 10 oz cream
- Verdict – Drinkify can fuck its own mother.
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