What’s long and hard and full of seamen?

I’m not gonna lie: it took me a while to come up with a PG-13 title that could accurately describe cum. THAT is what I decided on. Thank you, decade-old joke.

Aaaaaaaanyway, Sherry Vine is here with another parody of a song you will hear in gay clubs for the next four months, this time spoofing Rihanna’s “We Found Love.” And it’s about cum. Or as I now call it, “The only thing Treasure Island Media feeds the exclusive models they keep locked in their basement.”

The song is pretty good, and I did chuckle a little bit when they mocked that weird, completely inconsequential part of Rihanna’s video where she just randomly projectile-barfs streamers as if she just blew a clown. All in all, I dig it, although I do have to deduct points for making a song called “We Found Sperm” and having absolutely no sperm in the entire video. I’m just saying: if you’re gonna go with the jizz joke, you better fucking commit to there being cum all up in that bitch.

Keep Reading

‘Stress Positions’ captures the uncomfortable hilarity of millennial loserdom

Writer-director Theda Hammel weighs in on her debut film, modern-day slapstick and the difference between being evil and being a loser
Mike Faist, Zendaya and Josh O'Connor sit on a motel bed in a still from Challengers.

‘Challengers’ is the bisexual film of the year 

REVIEW: The tennis threesome drama with Zendaya at the centre is a celebration of sexiness and sport

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 16, Episode 16 power ranking: An iconic final three

Only one can win, but all three fought hard to make their case for the crown

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 16 finale recap: I hear it and I know

America’s Next Drag Superstar XVI is crowned!