Ladies and gentlemen, it’s finally happened: we’ve elected politicians who are willing to go full-blown redneck dust-up on any bike rider who gets in their way. No, seriously. During a broadcast of Rob Ford’s radio show on Newstalk 1010, Doug Ford told his listeners that a cyclist just started randomly heckling for no reason whatsoever. Yeah, sure, no reason! And make no mistake about it: if it weren’t for the fact that he is an elected official, Doug would have laid him down like a doormat. Once again: the majority of Toronto voted for these people. Really. Via the Toronto Star:
Doug Ford then said that last week he was accosted downtown by a bike courier, who said “some real nasty, nasty words” into the councillor’s SUV and then circled back to give him another earful. The councillor, trying to drive into underground parking, got out because the courier was blocking him from pushing a button, he said.
“I told him if I wasn’t an elected official I’d kick his ass in about 10 seconds,” Doug Ford said. But the courier was still cursing him when he walked up from the garage, he said.
“All these construction guys are watching and he’s going at me full tilt and I’m thinking ‘Is this all part of the job, Rob never told me. . . ,” he said.
Mayor Rob Ford interjected: “There’d be one less courier because, trust me, Doug has been a kick boxer 10 years . . . I guarantee you that guy would have been history in about two seconds.”
Did our mayor and his brother just gloat about how they would kick box a guy into dust? Fantastic — we’ve elected frat boys to office. Didn’t John Belushi do a movie like this before he rode a speedball to heaven? Because there absolutely has to be a movie like that. There has to be an ‘80s movie starring John Belushi or someone like him where some stoner frat boy is elected to office, and he gets into fights and gives cabinet positions to all his friends and he fails adorably at everything he does. Because if that scenario is happening in real life right now, instead of in some super lame ‘80s movie that time forgot, then I will shit a brick.
Actually, I think this picture really only enforces my theory.
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