And the winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race is . . .

Willam!

Nah, I’m just fucking with you. The real winner is Sharon Needles. Yes, the spooky goth queen who eschewed bland fishiness for the sake of intelligent, funny shock performance won the crown. And I couldn’t be any happier. Well, unless she were co-winner with Chad Michaels. And someone kicked That Bitch Phi Phi in the shins. But still, this was good too.

I’ll go into more detail tomorrow, discuss the reason Willam got kicked off (she was fucking her husband. Yeah, that’s really the reason. Seriously) and continue to ask how exactly That Bitch Phi Phi got as far as she did. But for now, SHARON NEEDLES MOTHER FUCKERS. GET SOME.