Does James Bond like his martini shaken or stirred?

And by “martini” I meant his butt. Wordplay! (Barely.)

Anyway, if you’ve been keeping up with the latest James Bond movies, you might have noticed that they’ve been getting better, and also gayer. It’s a correlational thing, really. The Bond films have always had an undercurrent of gayness to them, but ever since Daniel Craig stepped into the role, said undercurrents have been pushed further to the forefront.

This has led to more than a few people asking whether James Bond might be gay, though oddly, no one’s asking if he’s bisexual, which seems way more likely at this point. Anyway, Bond screenwriter Josh Logan decided to clear things up, and the short answer is: possibly bisexual, but who knows?

“Some people claim it’s because I’m, in fact, gay but it’s not true at all,” he said. “Sam [Mendes] and I were discussing, there were so many scenes where Bond goes mano-a-mano with the villain, whether it’s Dr No or Goldfinger or whatever.

“There’s been so many ways to do a cat-and-mouse and intimidate Bond, and we thought, what would truly make the audience uncomfortable is sexual intimidation; playing the sort of homoerotic card that is sort of always there subtextually with characters like Scaramanga in Man with the Golden Gun or Dr No.

“So we just decided that we should play the card and enjoy it.”

James Bond actor Daniel Craig, also addressed the scene between Bond and agent-turned-villain Raoul Silva, played by Javier Bardem, in which the villain unbuttons Bond’s shirt, and makes a sexually-suggestive comment, to which Bond replies: “What makes you think this is my first time?” [SOURCE]

So basically, Daniel Craig and Javier Bardem were eye-banging each other the entire time, and they got Adele to sing the theme song for this one? SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY. I don’t care what the plot is, just let me watch Craig and Bardem fuck each other with their gazes.