Over-analyzing the new RuPaul’s Drag Race teaser

Jan 28, 2013.

Mark your calendars NOW, people. That’s the premiere of Season 5 of RuPaul’s Drag Race, and this time they’re doing it right instead of trying to force that whole synergy thing because Logo only ordered six episodes. Anyway, the first actual trailer for the new season is here, so watch it now before I parse through it piece by piece and dump the scavenged spoilers all over you.

Once again, SPOILER ALERT. I really can’t stress that enough, because I’m about to pick this thing apart like a monkey going after delicious, tasty ticks. Still here. Okay then.

First off, do not put your money down on Penny Tration. I know, she seemed like a sweet girl, but out of everyone there, she has the least screen time and only one mainstage look. If I had to guess, the first challenge was a sewing challenge, like always, and she doesn’t have any sewing experience. Which . . . honestly, Drag Race has opened the past four seasons with couture challenges. If you haven’t figured out that you actually need to know how to operate a needle and thread on Drag Race, you should not be there.

I also wouldn’t get too used to Serena ChaCha, Lineysha Sparx or Monica Beverly Hillz, as all of them seem to be absent in the Afro-wig challenge. Also on shaky ground: Jinkx Monsoon, who has a lot of behind-the-scenes footage but very little drag footage, and Coco Montrese, who seems to think that a pair of director’s megaphones used as a bra counts as couture. Uh-huh.

Right now, the safe bet would probably have to be Roxxxy Andrews, who has five mainstage looks thus far. If you want to hedge your bets a little, Alaska and Detox are currently running neck-and-neck as the fan favourites, and Ivy Winters seems to have a nice balance of talent and design. Everyone else . . . Well, they’re still up in the air.

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