‘RuPaul’s Drag Race UK’ Season 3, Episode 9 recap: Roasted queens

On the flagship RuPaul’s Drag Race series in the United States, the roast challenge is notorious for producing underdog winners: Coco Montrese won the first in Season 5, beating out comedy queens Jinkx Monsoon and Alaska in what would be her only maxi-challenge win; Peppermint won the second in Season 9, earning her only maxi-challenge win of the season; and in the most recent American season, Kandy Muse won her only maxi-challenge at the roast of three returning Miss Congenialities. For whatever reason—be it the scripted format or the ability to play off the roastees—unexpected victors often triumph.

This should give Vanity Milan some hope. Statistically, she has the worst track record of the top four queens, with just one win and three appearances in the bottom two. She effectively needs this win to get into the finale. Would she have a shot at the crown if she got there? Maybe! She’d have as many badges as Kitty Scott-Claus and Krystal Versace, and she’d be able to kill the final lip sync of the season.

But without the win in the Pearly Gates Roast maxi-challenge—one in which the queens must defend their life by roasting themselves (it’s a thin premise)—it’s hard to imagine Vanity triumphing. Even if she were to edge out one of the other three in the lip sync, she’d have just one win and four bottom two appearances, which would all but knock her out of the running. So the stakes are high for Vanity, but it is possible.

Unfortunately, the inevitable happens and Vanity is sent home. One can quibble with the lip sync result, but it’s hard to argue for Vanity making it to the finale. It is rather egregious to have an all-white final three on Drag Race in 2021 but alas, that’s how this run of Drag Race UK has turned out. One hopes that the many, many calls for greater diversity on future seasons have been heard by both World of Wonder and the BBC—it shouldn’t be up to Vanity herself to call out being the only Black queen, as she does in her roast.

I actually like Vanity in the roast, but she has a couple of issues that keep her out of contention for the win. Her pre-written punchlines land inconsistently, and she’s at her funniest when she’s doing more off-the-cuff material. When she gets fiery with the crowd (of all the eliminated queens), she seems primed to start lacerating them with reads, but then runs out of steam. The latter point really sticks out for the judges, and it’s clear after critiques that Vanity will be lip-syncing once more.

But the question is, against whom? Certainly not Ella Vaday, who is absolutely masterful in this challenge. Ella finds her groove early in the performance, and proceeds to throw barbs like roasting is her everyday gig. (“If I’m ever in need of a brain transplant, I’m picking yours, because it has not been used yet!” she says to Krystal, in one of the best lines of the challenge.) Ella wins her fourth RuPeter Badge this week, tying Bimini Bon Boulash’s record in the UK series. It’s funny: I wouldn’t have given Ella either of her shared wins (in the girl groups and acting challenges) but I think her two individual wins (this one and Snatch Game) are the most undeniable victories of the whole season. When she’s on, she’s on.

We also get to see a bit more of Ella’s personality this week, particularly in a mirror moment conversation with Vanity about toxic masculinity and being feminine. I wouldn’t say these conversations are getting more organic, but the queens seem to have gotten more comfortable with opening up once they’re in them. Ella and Vanity’s connection feels real, and their shared experiences bring them closer together. It’s a really nice moment, and stands out in an episode that otherwise feels like it cuts to the chase.

Speaking of cutting to the chase, let’s drop the pretense of mystery: Kitty does very well this week, meaning Krystal joins Vanity in the bottom two. This is no surprise for Kitt—she’s the funniest queen in the bunch, and she does appropriately well in the challenge. Where she loses out to Ella is in her presentation: Ella doesn’t have notes, which allows her to leave the podium and walk around on the stage, making for a more dynamic performance. Kitty looks down at her notes a lot (to the annoyance of the judges) and stays planted where she is. It’s enough to break things in Ella’s favour, but Kitty is in no danger of going home.

Theoretically, Krystal is in danger of going home, but only if she absolutely flops the lip sync. Krystal has quite transparently been Ru’s favourite, even as her performances haven’t matched up to the praise. (Never forget that Ru took Snatch Game, a challenge in which Krystal scored low, as an opportunity to monologue about how God put Krystal on this earth to do drag.) The idea that she’ll go home on her first trip to the bottom two when Vanity is on her fourth is nigh-impossible. And to her credit, she really does turn it out in the lip sync to Dua Lipa’s “Hallucinate.” Even if you think Vanity is slightly better, it’s close enough that Krystal’s superior track record should keep her in.

However, Krystal is the worst in the challenge this week by a good margin. She’s certainly game for the task and gives it her best shot, but her jokes just aren’t that funny. They stick mostly to two categories: Ru is old and Michelle is a slut. This is very well-trod territory, and it actually gives Veronica Green, who is sitting in the crowd, the chance to make one of the best jokes of the night: “The only thing getting old is these jokes!”

This is a real misfire for Krystal, and it comes at either the best or worst possible time, depending on where you think this edit is going. If Krystal needed to be perceived as an underdog to make her win at season’s end palatable, then this is a blessing in disguise for her. If, however, it’s used as a reason why she’s not ready for the crown, then I think she effectively hands Ella or Kitty the title of the U.K,’s Next Drag Superstar this week. We’ll just have to wait to see how it turns out.

Vanity gets some lovely final words from Ru and gets a proper send-off from the other queens. She seems very proud of her top four placement, and she should be: I wouldn’t have imagined her getting to this point way back in the second or third episode. Vanity has proven herself to be a survivor, as seen in her lip sync to “Scandalous,” which helped her avoid the dreaded third bottom-two appearance. The truth is, however, that lip-syncing your way to the end has never worked for anyone—the show will inevitably eliminate someone who hasn’t thrived in the challenges.

Next week it’s the grand finale! I’m honestly just glad to have this season nearing completion—it’s been a bit of a slog, and it airing against the wildly entertaining season of Canada’s Drag Race hasn’t helped matters. (Funny enough, UK Season 2 did the same to Season 13 when they aired around the same time earlier this year.) Until then, make sure to get your #TeamElla, #TeamKitty or #TeamKrystal votes in, and we’ll see you for the finale. May the best drag queen win!

Untucking our final thoughts

✨Kitty pointedly notes that although the other girls may have badges, none of them have a sash like she does from the Fugly Pageant. And that is what matters, isn’t it?

✨Interesting bit to consider: Ella is permitted to choose the performance order because she has the most RuPeter Badges. What would’ve happened if Kitty had won last week solo instead?

✨Charity Kase looks absolutely amazing in the crowd in an all-green look. It’s maybe my favourite look of hers from the whole season.

✨The single best line was one of Vanity’s, targeted at the final three: “Look at them sitting there, looking like the white Supremes.” Michelle Visage singles it out as being hilarious, and she is correct.

✨The queens get messages from loved ones in mini-Untucked, and they’re all really lovely. Special shout-out to Kitty’s parents and their dogs, who are rather picturesquely positioned around them on the couch.

✨Despite the tension earlier in the season, it’s clear that this final four has gotten really close. I’m not going to surprise anyone by saying this season hasn’t made for the most enjoyable watch, but it’s hard to be too down on it when the people involved seem genuinely lovely.

✨So: Who’s gonna win this thing? Fan support seems to be firmly on Ella’s side, and she’s also got the track record to support her win. I would not be shocked to see her pull it out. However, think back to the previous two Drag Race UK seasons: Divina de Campo and Bimini Bon Boulash had the fan support (and Bimini especially had the track record), only for The Vivienne and Lawrence Chaney to win out, respectively, in the end. Will history repeat itself once again and see Krystal, Ru’s favourite from the start, take the crown? Or will Kitty maybe win as a compromise choice between fans and Ru? This one feels pretty wide open, but I think I’ll bet on history and guess that Krystal’s going to win.

✨Programming note: For Thursday’s finale, we’re switching our coverage around to have the U.K. recap and ranking up this Friday and Saturday. Canada’s Drag Race coverage will come out next Monday and Tuesday instead, and then will revert back to the usual Friday/Saturday publishing schedule for the rest of its season. Thanks for bearing with us—hopefully we won’t have to deal with multiple seasons airing on the same day in the future.

The finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race UK will be available to stream Thursday, Nov. 25, at 2 p.m. EST on WOW Presents Plus in the U.S. and OUTtv in Canada, as well as on BBC Three and the BBC’s iPlayer in the United Kingdom. Additionally, episodes are available the same day on Crave in Canada.