How can I ask for what I want in bed?

“Great question,” Kai Cheng Thom responds to a reader. “If you figure it out, let me know” 

Kai Cheng Thom takes on a question a lot of us have struggled with: what do you do if you know what kind of sex you want, but you just don’t know how to ask for it? 

“You watch a movie or a porno and they’re just somehow doing everything that the other person seems to want them to do and it’s amazing, and that’s just not how it works in real life,” Kai says. “Explicitness is really key.”

It’s our latest in the video series “Ask Kai: Quick Tips for the Apocalypse,” offering relationship advice for those in a hurry. 

Keep Reading

Pete Buttigieg latest Democrat to oppose trans women in women’s sports

The openly gay presidential hopeful joined Gavin Newsom and Rahm Emanuel as high-profile Democrats turning against trans issues
Clayton Reeves competes on an obstacle course on American Ninja Warrior.

These trans athletes just made ‘American Ninja Warrior’ history

Jenson Little and Clayton Reeves became the first out trans men to compete on the popular athletic competition show
A photo composite of Chappell Roan on a farm in Saskatchewan

What the heck is Saskatchewan? A guide for Chappell Roan fans

Chappell Roan’s teaser for “The Subway” has made Saskatchewan the belle of the ball. But what’s the deal with Canada’s most rectangular province?
Drag queens on RuPaul's Drag Race Global All Stars compete in a roast challenge.

How the ‘All Stars 10’ bracket format could save ‘Global All Stars’

The global season of “RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars” largely missed the mark. Could the tournament-style bracket format of “All Stars 10” be the way to get it right?