One Million Moms vs Urban Outfitters: Battle of the Douches

What happens when you get two homophobic groups together and make them fight over who’s less empathetic to gay rights? You get the battle of wits that is the new feud between the mathematically challenged One Million Moms up against that rightwing money pit thinly veiled as a self-satisfied bastion of smug ironic hipsters, Urban Outfitters. Actually, considering that the two groups have roughly the same political agenda, they’d both be on the same side, but apparently One (*ahem*) “Million” Moms has its collective celibacy undergarments in a twist over two women kissing in an Urban Outfitters catalogue (via The Advocate).

“On page two of this catalog is a picture of two women kissing in a face holding embrace!” the group wrote in its alert.

The group urges its followers (of which there are not nearly a million) to call and cancel their catalogs and threaten to shop elsewhere.

“The ad and catalog are clearly geared toward teenagers,” it claims. “The content is offensive and inappropriate for a teen who is the company’s target customer.”

By the way, this is the picture in question:

Ooooooo, yes. How steamy. If that got any hotter, it could pass for a funeral. Shield your eyes, children!

So who wins this battle? Well, we can safely rule out One Million Moms, because between their complete and total failure to get Ellen DeGeneres canned or count to one million, they can’t do anything. So I guess Urban Outfitters wins this one by default. Sure, they basically just co-opted the lesbian community in the most passionless way possible for the sake of selling a couple more mustached-themed trinkets, but hey, at least emotionally stunted 20-somethings can continue to be ironically detached from the things they like.

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