Gay marriage: It’s finger-licking good!

In the midst of the media swarm that ensued in the wake of Chick-fil-A owner Dan Cathy’s coming out against gay marriage, we’ve seen the much-maligned fried chicken giant create a fake Facebook account to defend itself, lie about Muppet toys being potential health hazards, and somehow turn a business whose primary function is to “shove trans-fat-laden poultry-like mass into North America’s already bloated arteries” even worse than it already was.

Well, now we’re apparently at the point where we can laugh at this, because here comes John Goodman — actually, I’m just going to interject here: John Goodman is an underrated treasure. Watch The Big Lebowski if you don’t believe me — with a Funny or Die video depicting Colonel Sanders making a play for those pink dollars, which takes an incredibly dark twist. Look, I made it through Paranormal Activity without batting an eye, but holy crap if Goodman isn’t pretty goddamn terrifying when he wants to be.

KFC Loves Gays with John Goodman from John Goodman

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