Why can’t penguins just be bisexual?

Earlier this week, Toronto’s famous gay penguin couple Pedro and Buddy successfully mated with a pair of female penguins, thus sparking a slew of people saying that the penguins were “straight” all of a sudden.

A couple things here:

You know bisexuality is a thing, right? You know, Kinsey scale? It’s this thing where sexuality is less about a black and white choice and more about a sliding scale of attraction that takes into account gender fluidity. Believe me, when you take into consideration the astonishingly wide range of things that can turn on an animal (my black lab has tried to fuck three chihuahuas of varying sex . . . CHIHUAHUAS) the idea of a more open-ended interpretation of sexuality makes a hell of a lot of sense.

Why can’t we just say the penguins are bisexual? At this point, they’ve proven they can enter both gay and straight relationships; the sex of their current partner isn’t really indicative of their overall sexuality. There’s a lot more to sexual attraction than simply gay or straight.

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