Remember that satirical “How to Lose 10 Pounds Before Pride” piece I wrote last week? Well, apparently, I may need to add an addendum to that gem: it turns out that being a douchey hipster trying to pass off apathy as societal progression doesn’t make you lose weight, but being a whore does! Although, theoretically, that would mean I should weigh as much as LeAnn Rimes’s clavicle. In an article on gawker.com, Brian Moylan writes:
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: there are countless committed gay couples out there who like to either play on the side or invite guest stars into their beds. And you’re not going to get any A-list guest stars if you’re giving D-list torso with a four-star gut. Yes, gay men go to the gym to stay competitive, but since the man-eating marathon doesn’t end after marriage, they just keep on competing and competing until death do they part. (Source)
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See? You’re not a slut anymore; you’re a gym bunny! Entirely different. Likewise, you can’t call anyone a prostitute anymore; they’re personal trainers. I think we can all feel a little better about ourselves now.
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