What’s long and hard and full of seamen?

I’m not gonna lie: it took me a while to come up with a PG-13 title that could accurately describe cum. THAT is what I decided on. Thank you, decade-old joke.

Aaaaaaaanyway, Sherry Vine is here with another parody of a song you will hear in gay clubs for the next four months, this time spoofing Rihanna’s “We Found Love.” And it’s about cum. Or as I now call it, “The only thing Treasure Island Media feeds the exclusive models they keep locked in their basement.”

The song is pretty good, and I did chuckle a little bit when they mocked that weird, completely inconsequential part of Rihanna’s video where she just randomly projectile-barfs streamers as if she just blew a clown. All in all, I dig it, although I do have to deduct points for making a song called “We Found Sperm” and having absolutely no sperm in the entire video. I’m just saying: if you’re gonna go with the jizz joke, you better fucking commit to there being cum all up in that bitch.

Keep Reading

The cast of All Stars 11

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 11’ is a second chance for the bracket format. Will it work this time around?

Early enthusiasm for the Tournament of All Stars last season was dampened by the back half of the season, raising the question of whether this format is viable in the long term
A flaming torch

‘Survivor’ helped me climb a volcano

Instead of training for a gruelling day-long hike, I listened to podcasts about my favourite TV show. It paid off
Michaela Coel and Anne Hathaway

‘Mother Mary’ nails how devastating a first lesbian breakup can be

In A24’s new pop star drama, Anne Hathaway captures the physicality of a tormented ex-lover aching for answers—and deliverance
The cover of Afternoon Hours of a Hermit; Patrick Cottrell

In ‘Afternoon Hours of a Hermit,’ Patrick Cottrell writes a protagonist who does everything wrong—again

The pseudo-sequel to Cottrell’s acclaimed first novel brilliantly retraces old ground
Advertisement