The 2011 Met Gala was last night, and I didn’t get an invite. So, I’m gonna judge people who did, just to feel better about myself.
Best: Anna Wintour. Yes, she’s a monster. Someone should cut off her skin, make it into a coat and see how much she likes it. But that just wouldn’t be practical in today’s economy. Who would wear that fug shitz? Despite my belief that she’s one of the most wretched people on the planet, the bitch knows how to pull it together sometimes. This Chanel dress is spectacular. Almost as spectacular as the fact that it was originally designed without sleeves, but because she’s the slave driver queen of the fashion scene, Chanel was happy to fulfill her every demand desire.
Even Anna couldn’t prevent Chanel from designing this monstrosity:
Worst: Kirsten Dunst. This is acceptable for a tea party at Mischa Barton’s house where you pop Vicodin, take bong hits and sip chai. Not the Met Gala, dear.
The Wild Card: Christina Ricci. I like this Zac Posen dress in theory, except that Christina Ricci is like, four feet tall. So in person, I bet she looked like a Government Oompa Loompa Hooker, which I hear is the title of Lady Gag’s new single.
Kudos: Madonna. For those boobs and diamonds. I’m equally aroused and jealous.
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