Thank you, Renato Seabra, for creating the greatest trend of 2012: testicle bracelets

Twenty-one-year-old Renato Seabra is an alleged murderer, aspiring model and above all else, a trendsetter. All the golddiggers covet the way his sugar daddy’s testicles dangle ever so elegantly from his wrists. Only a novice wants his sugar daddy’s goods in the palm of his hand! A true trailblazer isn’t afraid to be different.

If you’re wondering why Seabra decided to wear a 65-year-old man’s balls hanging from his wrists, you probably haven’t heard about their magical powers yet. According to Seabra, the testicles gave him the power to get rid of his homosexuality and cure strangers on the street of HIV. That’s right, he was running all around New York City touching random people with Castro’s saggy scrotum and healing them of disease. (I’m sure he’s accepting thank-you cards in prison.)

This is the story I’m going to tell the designer children I have one day when they ask me why I make them wash their hands every five minutes.

Seabra, who is from Portugal, started his relationship with Castro, a journalist and LGBT activist, in 2010. They did the things that everyone in a boy-toy/sugar daddy relationship does: ate at fancy restaurants, shopped and dropped off headshots at modelling agencies. Sigh. I really miss my ex!

When Seabra started seeing girls and told Castro he was no longer gay, they fought, and Castro ended their relationship. Defence attorney Rubin Sinins claims that what happened next — the brutal beating and castration with a corkscrew that led to Castro’s death, and the invention of this season’s must-have bracelet “jewels” — are the result of the model going insane from the “torture” he endured having a relationship with an older man.

Assistant district attorney Maxine Rosenthal, on the other hand, paints a very different picture. While addressing the New York court, she called Seabra a golddigger who “wanted to pursue a career in modelling. He wanted to be famous and make money. He also wanted nice things — clothes, electronics, gifts for his family. He wanted to eat in nice restaurants. When Carlos Castro showed up in Renato Seabra’s life, he saw a means to an end and he got on board. He knew he was beating, stomping and mutilating Carlos Castro. And he knew it was wrong.”

Personally, I’m undecided on whether Seabra is crazy or not. I’d need to see what shoes he matched with those bracelets first . . .

 

Bookmark & Share

XClose AddThis Expanded Menu

Select from these web-based feed readers:

AOL

Bloglines

Google Reader

My MSN

Netvibes

Newsisfree

Pageflakes

Yahoo

Sharing Service Filter

No matching services..netShoutout100zakladok2 Tag2linkmeA97abiAdftyAdifniAmazonAmen Me!AOL MailAPSenseArmenixArtoAviary CaptureAzadegiBaangBaiduBeat100BeboBentioBiggerPocketsBit.lyBizSugarBland takkinnBlinklistBlipBloggerBloggyBlogkeenBlogmarksBlogtrottrBlurpaliciousBO.LTBobrdobrBonzoBoxBookmarkingNetBookmarky.czBookmerkenBordomBox.netBrainifyBryderi.seBuddyMarksBufferBuzzzyCamyooCardThisCare2ChimeChiqCiripCiteULikeClassicalPlaceCleanPrintCleanSaveclipDOCndigColivia.deCommunicateConnoteacOOtopiaCopy LinkCOSMiQCurate.usDeliciousDesignBumpDigaCulturaDiggDiggitaDigoDigThisHostDigzignDiigoDipdiveDoMelhorDostiDotNetKicksDoubanDraugiem.lvDrimioDropjackDzoneEdelightEFactoreKudoselefanta.plEmailEmail AppEmbarkonseuCliqueiEvernoteextraplayEzySpotFabDesignFabulously40FacebookFarkFarkindaFashiolistaFAVableFavesfavlogFavoritenFavoritesFavoritusFlakerFloss.proFolkdFormspringFreeDictionaryFresquiFriendFeedfunPfwispGabbrGamekickerGigBasketGiveALinkGlobalGrindGmailGo.vnGoduduGood NoowsGoogleGoogle+GreaterDebaterGrono.netHaber.gen.trHacker NewsHadash HotHatenaHealthimizeHedgehogsHelloTxthistoriousHot BookmarkHotklixHotmailHTML ValidatorHyvesIdenti.caIDibbItihavegotIndex4IndexorInformazioneInstapaperInvestorLinksiOrbixiSocietyiWiWJamespotJappy TickerJoliPrintJollyJumptagsKaboodleKaevurKaixin RepasteKetnooiKindle ItKipupKledyKommentingLa tafaneraLibrerioLifestreamLink NinjaLinkedInLinks GutterLinkSharesLinkuj.czLiveJournalLockerBloggerLogger24Mail.ruMarkmeMashbordme2daymeinVZMekusharimMemonicMemori.ruMendeleyMenéameMessengerMindbodygreenMister WongMoemesto.ruMoikrugmototagzmRcNEtwORKMultiplymyAOLMyHayastanMylinkvaultMyspaceN4GNasza-klasaNetLogNetvibesNetvouzNewsMeBackNewsTrustNewsvineNujijOdnoklassnikiOKNOtizieOneviewOrkutOyylaPackgPafnetPDF OnlinePDFmyURLPhoneFavsPing.fmPinterestPlanypusPlaxoPlurkPochvalPocketPoliticNotePosteezyPosterousPrati.baPrintPrintFriendlyPushaQRF.inQRSrc.comQuantcastQzoneRedditRediff MyPageRedKumResearchGateRideFixSafelinkingScoop.atScoop.itSekomanSelect2GetherSharerShavehShe Told MeSina WeiboSkyrock BlogSMISodaHeadSonicoSpeedtileSpinSnapSpreadlyspringpadSquidooStartaidStartlapStoryFollowerstudiVZStuffpitStumbleUponStumpediaSUP BROSurfingbirdSvejoSymbalooTaazaShareTagzaTaringa!TarpipeThe Web BlendThinkfinityThisNextThrowpileto.lyTopSitelerTransferrTranslateTuentiTulinqTumblrTvinxTweetMemeTwitterTwitThisTypepadUpnews.itUrlaubswerkURLCaptViadeoVirbVisitezMonSiteVKontaktevKruguDruzeiVOX SocialVybraliSMEVyoomWebnewsWebShareWerKenntWenWhois LookupWindy CitizenWireFanWordPressWorioWrite Your RepWykopXangaXINGY! BookmarksY! MailYammerYardbarkerYemleYiggYookosYoolinkYorumcuyumYoublrYoubookmarksYouMobYuubyZakladok.netZicZacZingMeZukmo

Done

Message sent! Share again.

Sending message…

AddThis for Safari

Make sharing easier with AddThis for Safari.

Download

Don’t show these

To: (email address)From: (email address)Note: (optional)

255 character limit

More:

SettingsPrivacy

Bookmark & ShareX

Make sharing easier with AddThis for Safari.


Don’t show these

TwitterFacebookEmailPrintRedditStumbleUponFavoritesGmailBloggerTumblrLinkedInMore… (328)

SettingsPrivacy

Keep Reading

A still image of Anne, played by Amybeth McNulty, in braids and a coat, looking at another child in Anne with an E.

Why the adaptation ‘Anne with an E’ speaks to queers and misfits of all kinds

The modern interpretation of Anne of Green Gables reflected queer and gender-diverse people’s lives back at them 
Karla Sofía Gascón as Emilia Perez in Emilia Perez. Gascón wears black with colourful embroidery, has long hair, and a brown purse and delicate chain.

Trans cartel musical ‘Emilia Pérez’ takes maximalist aesthetic to the extreme

REVIEW: The film’s existence raises intriguing questions about appropriate subjects for the playful machinations of French auteurs
Dorothy Allison sits behind a microphone. She has long, light-coloured hair and wears glasses and a patterned button-up shirt.

5 things to know about Dorothy Allison

The lesbian feminist writer passed on Nov. 6

‘Solemates’ is a barefoot stroll through the history of our fetish for feet

Queer historian Adam Zmith’s newest book allows us to dip our toes into the past of a common, yet stigmatized, kink