‘RuPaul’s Drag Race UK’ Season 3, Episode 7 recap: Time goes by so slowly

As someone who has for years been urging RuPaul’s Drag Race to think outside the box when it comes to challenges, the announcement of this week’s “Miss Fugly Beauty Pageant” sounded thrilling. It’s a ball challenge, yes, but the queens don’t know the categories ahead of time. They have a very limited period to get ready for each category and in one case, instead of sewing a new garment, they must take existing charity shop items and style them together into a cohesive outfit. The format completely flips the structure of a regular episode, getting us to the runway early and showing us much of what’s involved in the creative process.

It’s such an interesting, dynamic change, and it makes this episode a nail-biter… or, at least it should. But then we get to the first prep session, and the questions arise: Why are the queens talking about online bullying? Why are they sitting around chit-chatting on a time limit? And more to the point, where is the timer? Why is there no visible clock showing us where the queens are in their prep time, à la the clock in the kitchen on Top Chef? 

It only gets more absurd when Charity Shop Sue herself fully shows up during the second part of the challenge, giving the queens a full introduction to the task. Not one of them yells, “Sorry, but we’re on a time limit, can you get out of the way?”

To quote Larissa “Bootz” Hodge of the Flavor of Love franchise, “I think somebody’s trying to set me up.” If the workroom interactions are any indication, these time limits seem deeply fake. At times, it almost feels like the queens are actively trying to use Mirror Moments to delay each other—the sheer number of questions they throw at Krystal Versace seems intentional, considering how much work Krystal does to change her look every round. 

But there’s no confessional with someone like Scarlett Harlett admitting she’s trying to throw her off. No, it just seems like the queens are happily engaging in more of the producer-prompted banter that’s been such a drag (no pun intended) this season, without panicking over the time. And that makes me think the time limit is not nearly as strict as we’re led to believe.

It’s a shame—this twist could’ve really been a moment of innovation for the show. And I kept thinking of ways to further gamify it as it was going on, like adding judging after every round so the queens know the score going into the next category. But as it stands, the format feels artificial. At least the actual challenge produces strong work, with a triumphant moment for a queen who’s been waiting for one all season.

No mini-challenge this week means we launch straight into the maxi-challenge. Again, I really can’t oversell just how great this challenge introduction is. The dolls’ faces fully crack upon realizing how in the dark they’ll be for one of Drag Race’s hardest challenges. The added difficulty, beyond the dubious time limit, is that this is a Fugly Pageant—though here, “FUGLY” is apparently an acronym for “Friend, U Gotta Love Yourself.” (That is the last time I will be referring to “fugly” as an acronym, because that is dumb.) Looking gorgeous won’t be enough: these queens have to embrace the less attractive side of fashion.

First up is Fugly Swimwear, and while Kitty Scott-Claus gets the dubious duty of asking about online bullying while the queens have just over an hour to put their looks together, she also clearly uses her time just fine. She goes with big hair that’s an absolute scream, and sells the whole look with an awkwardly short-stride walk on the runway. No one else really comes close: Scarlett goes for an unfortunate cat affectation, while Vanity Milan’s and Ella Vaday’s swimsuits are ill-fitting. Krystal looks gorgeous, but decidedly not fugly—it’s actually a stunner of a look. Point one to Kitty for getting it right.

Round two is a major change in the rules: instead of wearing something from home, the queens will need to put together new looks out of charity shop items. (This is where Charity Shop Sue shows up, but I honestly don’t have much to say about her. She’s fine, but distracting.) Both Krystal and Scarlett go with little black dresses, and both earn drubbings from the judges for them. Michelle Visage goes as far as to call Krystal’s “very weak,” which is remarkably blunt in the lighter-and-softer age of judging. I’m so intrigued by how Michelle treats Krystal in comparison to Ru and the other judges; she seems genuinely annoyed by her at times, which stands in stark contrast with Ru’s fawning.

And of course, Ru (along with guest judge Alesha Dixon) once again gives Krystal a pass, citing her major turnaround from the first look. Ru also raves later about Krystal’s clever gambit in this challenge: changing her makeup for every look. I’ll admit, I’m impressed she pulls off so many different faces, but I’d have preferred she spent less time on her face if it meant we got a better second look. But I really do not believe we’ll hear Ru offer up a critique of Krystal this season. He seems that invested in her.

Elsewhere in the charity shop category, Kitty and Ella stun in pastels, but it’s actually Vanity who gets the point from me. She wisely goes with the orange colour the judges love so much on her, and she pairs her dress with a perfect pussycat wig. It’s a real triumph, and were the challenge judged based on this category alone, I could see Vanity taking the win.

There’s an odd thing happening with Vanity, though: even as Michelle compliments her, she conditions the praise by saying she hopes it “isn’t too late.” As in, because Vanity has already lip-synced twice, nothing she can do now will stop her from lip-syncing again. This is wild to me. Imagine if Raven were constantly nearly in the bottom because she lip-synced twice in the first three weeks of Season 2. Imagine if Monét X Change never racked up her run of high scores in Season 10 because she faltered early. Why on earth is Vanity held to this standard? Why is her great work not enough now because of what came before?

This brings us to the final category, which is Fugly But Fashionable. There’s a 30-minute time limit, but it’s effectively impossible for that to be true. None of them are even close to being done when Ru says 15 minutes are left, and the results on the main stage are too good to have been put together in such a short period of time. Vanity stuns in a black quilt dress, earning flat-out raves from the judges. Compared to the praise Ella in particular gets on her final garment, there’s no contest. But no, despite Vanity getting more praised than Ella, Vanity’s the one who has to lip sync against Scarlett. It’s so frustrating to watch—and I say this as someone who has probably, on balance, liked Ella’s output in this competition more than Vanity’s.

Scarlett joins Vanity in the bottom two, and I just don’t have much to say here. She once again goes for a cat moment, in a sweatsuit that Michelle loves. I can’t get there: it feels like Scarlett is resting not on her comedy, as Vanity once (incorrectly) charged her with, but on being a Cockney queen. Earlier on in this competition, Scarlett showed great range; where did it go? Have her conflicts with the other girls beaten her into feeling like she only has so many tricks? It’s hard to argue, based on her current trajectory, that Scarlett has anything left to offer the competition.

For a moment, it seems like Krystal might eke out the win—her final look is a genuine stunner. But when the other girls don’t pick out Krystal’s as a look they love (a positive spin on the “Who should go home tonight?” question), she turns sour on them in mini-Untucked and it’s pretty unpleasant to watch. 

So it’s a relief to see that, instead, it’s Kitty who earns her first win. She really does smash the pageant across all three categories (while I preferred Vanity’s second look, it’s a clear victory for Kitty in the first and really close in the third). She does a nerd look, shouting out Ugly Betty as inspiration, that pretty perfectly balances fugly and fashion. It just works. And Kitty’s reaction to her win is to scream and tell the other girls to suck it. Delightful!

Anyway, Vanity and Scarlett lip sync to Mis-Teeq’s “Scandalous,” which is an absolute bop. Alesha, a member of the girl group, gets her absolute life lip-syncing along with Vanity, even getting out of her chair to perform. Scarlett, god love her, is the third wheel in this one as Vanity absolutely smashes the performance: it starts with a dramatic reveal into a bodysuit, and by the time she’s twirled across the stage, it’s all over. This is a TKO, and Vanity easily stays.

So we move onto a final four, and… hang on, we have three episodes left at the final four? Barring a reunion or something, we have to have another non-elimination coming just to make the calendar work. Or, hear me out: Maybe we have a top two finale? Ru’s been pretty visibly over these girls for weeks; perhaps he decides he only wants two at the end for Krystal’s crowning. Who knows! We’ll just have to wait and see—and endure an acting challenge before that.

Untucking our final thoughts

✨All hail Alesha Dixon, who is just perfect this week. She must’ve been there for quite a long day of filming, and her energy never flags. She’s energetic, incisive and a joy to watch throughout. In an ultimately disappointing episode, she is one of three bright spots, alongside Kitty and Vanity.

✨Recent Drag Race seasons have focused heavily on family, as Scarlett notes in her (overwrought, sorry to say) exit lines. But it’s kind of remarkable how much this group seems to not like each other: Kitty gets along with everyone, but otherwise there’s a lot of friction in the room. Had Kitty gone home this week instead of winning, we might’ve had another Season 7 final Untucked situation on our hands.

✨Gotta love Alan Carr for correctly drawing a line between Kitty’s final look and current Gucci aesthetics. He’s so funny that I usually just think about his comedy, but his judging is always so insightful as well. Easily the best regular judge across the franchise.

✨I’m glad Scarlett mostly goes out on good terms, small bits of friction aside. She seemed really down a couple of weeks ago, but she’s leaving with nothing left unsaid and things in a decent place with everyone. She seems like a good kid.

✨We didn’t talk about this last week, but BBC Three confirmed that we’re getting a fourth season of Drag Race UK. I’m still excited for this, despite this ultimately disappointing season, but I really hope the network and World of Wonder take their time with it. This season was so clearly rushed, and the UK franchise deserves better than a race to get something out.

✨If anyone reading thinks I’m overestimating the Krystal edit, I’d actually love to hear your thoughts. I’ve proven pretty poor at reading the UK edits. I thought Divina de Campo and Bimini Bon Boulash were going to win, though I acknowledged The Vivienne and Lawrence Chaney could. I might be overcorrecting by betting too big on Ru’s favourite, but it just doesn’t feel like anyone else has the steam. But as I said, I’ve been wrong!

The next episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race UK will be available to stream Thursday, Nov. 11, at 2 p.m. EST on WOW Presents Plus in the U.S. and OUTtv in Canada, as well as on BBC Three and the BBC’s iPlayer in the United Kingdom. Additionally, episodes are available the same day on Crave in Canada. Our recap of that episode will be available the following Monday, Nov. 15.