‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 17, Episode 12 recap: Dance til the day is done

Pair challenges—when they’re actually judged in pairs—have a history of producing wonky results on RuPaul’s Drag Race. Season 4’s “Frenemies” singing challenge gave Latrice Royale and Willam their second wins, while frontrunner rivals Phi Phi O’Hara and Sharon Needles suddenly landed in the bottom two for the first time. (A result that was ultimately negated by Willam’s disqualification.) Season 6 saw Laganja Estranja earn her first and only win alongside Adore Delano for their commercial, while BenDeLaCreme was almost sent home by Darienne Lake. Symone and Utica boosted each other to the win in Season 13’s makeover challenge, while previous maxi-challenge winners Denali and Olivia Lux found themselves lip syncing for their lives.

Part of the phenomenon with these challenges is that one queen’s performance or trajectory often elevates the entire group. That’s what happened in Season 6 with that Adore-Laganja shared win, and the same goes for Pearl in Season 7’s DESPY Awards challenge, which she won with challenge partner Max. Laganja and Max were both good, but it was the storyline investment in their partners that boosted them to a joint win. The same is true in reverse: one queen bombing can put the whole team in danger. It’s the latter dynamic that we see in this week’s episode—although it’s not the queen you think who jeopardizes the other.

The maxi-challenge this week is an update of an All Stars 6 task: the Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent Monologues. This is the challenge that Eureka! won to secure her return from the RuDemption Lip Sync Smackdown. There, it was a simple task: tell a story. Here, there’s a twist: before Ru even announces the challenge, he asks the queens to “pair up with the queen that ‘gets’ you the most.” Immediately, this produces interesting results, as Lexi Love rushes to grab Onya Nurve. Onya even asks, “You sure?” as Sam Star stares longingly, wondering why her bestie in the competition is suddenly picking someone else. Because Jewels Sparkles and Suzie Toot immediately pair up, this leaves Sam with Lana Ja’Rae—decidedly an odd couple.

The pairing matters a lot, too: in addition to performing their own monologues, each queen is tasked with performing an interpretive dance during the other’s monologue. And yes, it will be judged in pairs. Lexi, wisely, wants to work with the queen whose rising tide will lift her boat in Onya. Is it strategic? Sure! But I for one am refreshed to see Lexi thinking this way: it’s a welcome respite after a few weeks of her struggling to find her center. Meanwhile, Sam and Lana quickly learn the importance of team chemistry—but, at least in my opinion, the wrong queen pays the price.

In another change from the AS6 version of this challenge, the queens each pull a story prompt from Bruno’s pink furry box. Jewels gets Out of This World—something supernatural—while Suzie gets Learned That the Hard Way, a story of a time she lost, but learned a lesson. Lana gets Lost, a story about when she didn’t know whether she was coming or going, while Sam gets Triggered, something that set her off. Finally, Lexi gets Payback’s a Bitch, a story about karma, while Onya gets Obsessed, which is, appropriately enough, about an intense obsession.

Some queens know their stories immediately: Suzie has a tale about losing a spelling bee because of her overconfidence that Jewels notes is incredibly Suzie Toot. Onya recalls her brief stint as a raw vegan, and wants to tell the story of how she fell into and out of it. Meanwhile, Lexi struggles to land on a particular monologue idea. Onya clocks that Lexi tries to survey the room and see what others are doing, but that’s not the right approach for a challenge like this. If Lexi has confidence in her own story, that’s all that matters.

The choreography segment of the queens’ prep time is particularly funny. Suzie’s giving Jewels pro-level steps, demanding all kinds of spins, while Lana and Sam aren’t speaking the same language. While these two don’t have any issues or beef, you can tell they just don’t come from the same point of view in their drag. Unlike how Sam was able to bridge the gap with Lydia B Kollins—probably because it was such a large divide that they knew they had to work on it—Sam and Lana remain out-of-sync throughout the episode.

Before we dive into the performances themselves, let’s talk about the judging criteria. Ru explicitly tells the queens that they need to put both “humour and heart” into their monologues and dances. He doesn’t say what the ratio should be, but when it comes time for the judging, it’s clear that he meant mostly humour and a little heart. One group gets knocked for being too earnest, with Ru explicitly saying earnestness has no place in a drag competition (this from a host who asks his queens to give heartfelt speeches to their younger selves every season), while the funniest group gets rewarded. At the end of the day, I broadly agree with the final judging results … but I don’t love the path we have to take to get to them.

Suzie and Jewels are first up, and Jewels is the stronger link here. Her dancing for Suzie’s spelling bee story is great, her choreography for Suzie for her own story is fantastic, her take on the “ghost” in her story being her own drag persona is a gorgeous touch and while she stumbles a couple of times in her delivery of her own monologue, they’re small missteps. Suzie does decently, but she has an expressiveness problem while dancing during Jewels’, and her story feels a bit too neat for my taste. I have no doubt the basis of the story is true, but Suzie’s telling sounds almost manufactured to fit this challenge. If part of this challenge is to feel authentic in your storytelling, I think Suzie falters most there.

An early warning sign about how ham-fisted the judging will be comes in the form of an Onya confessional during Jewels’ performance: she says there’s “not enough drag” in what they’re doing. To which I say: what does that mean? I know where Onya gets the critique, because the judges later say the same thing. But I’d challenge both of them to explain what “not enough drag” means in explicit terms. Simply because they put more heart into their performances than humour (and there are still jokes!) doesn’t automatically make their performances less “drag.” Drag can be a great many things, not just the broad comedy that Drag Race prefers.

Anyway, Onya and Lexi go, and it immediately becomes obvious what the judges are looking for here: comedy in storytelling style, with a comedic interpretive dance alongside it. Onya’s story is hilarious, and she tells it in the funniest way possible, almost rushing through the story to get all the various funny bits out. Lexi also gives her a major assist with a hysterical dance performance. I can’t fault Onya for doing exactly what the judges want! But I think, for my personal taste, I will always prefer the more heartfelt performances. Lexi is the only one who really strikes the balance for me, with a small story about her experience as a trans woman that yes, is funny, but is also resonant on a broader scale. Onya really goes for it with her dance, too. It’s the best overall package of the night.

Then we have Sam and Lana, and oh dear. Let’s start with the positives: Lana’s dancing for Sam’s story is one of the best dances of the whole group. She takes Sam’s somewhat cliché story and makes it feel special. I also think her own story, while a bit vague in details, comes from the heart, and it shows. But neither delivers their story particularly well, and Sam is terrible while dancing during Lana’s story. It’s actually somewhat shocking to see Sam bomb this week so badly. At worst this season, she’s been a bit too polished and uptight. This week, despite their disparate track records, she is the anchor on her team dragging Lana down.

Lexi and Onya win, as expected. This is a huge confidence boost for Lexi, who has been craving a second victory. Onya, meanwhile, ties the regular season record of four maxi-challenge wins with two episodes to go. Might she be the first to break the tie and secure a fifth? If I’m betting on anyone, I’m betting on Onya Nurve! The two of them split the $5,000 prize (a little cheap, no?) and head to the back of the stage. They’re joined by Jewels and Suzie, but only after Ru gives them a B- for their performances. I don’t know why I’m so annoyed by the treatment of these two when I think their safe placement is ultimately correct, but I am!

Anyway, it’s of course Lana and Sam in the bottom two, and they must lip sync to Dua Lipa’s “Illusion.” Even an underperforming album won’t keep Drag Race from using Dua songs! Here’s the problem, folks: Lana clears Sam here. Sam has one major moment in the lip sync, a dip … and Lana does a dip at the same time. Lana has all sorts of tricks, she’s in sync with the music and she does not commit the cardinal sin of miming removing glasses on the “rose-coloured glasses off” line. Lana makes Sam look like a novice, and that is bad for Sam.

Sam underwhelms for the third time in one episode in this lip sync, but the edit tells another story. We get multiple confessionals from the queens about how close the battle is. We even see Michelle Visage visibly surprised by, sorry I’m checking my notes here, Sam removing her skirt. You know the edit is skewed when Michelle is shown being gagged by a queen taking off her skirt. But, of course, Sam has two wins and is a frontrunner, while Lana is on her fourth Lip Sync for Your Life. Sam stays, and Lana sashays away.

In general, I just find this episode annoying. It’s entertaining enough, and I appreciate that the show is experimenting with their maxi-challenges. And look, you don’t need to try hard to sell me on Onya getting her fourth win. But everything about the episode feels like it’s working to achieve one particular result, and production has to stretch to make it all look convincing. I’m not entirely sure they got there, but the deed is done, and we’re heading into the final five with the queens we’ve known for weeks would be there.

Untucking our final thoughts

In the cold open, Onya drags the other girls for their “cop-out” answer of Suzie for last week’s round of Who Should Go Home Tonight and Why? She and Suzie even form an opposition couch, with all the others on the opposite sofa. For her part, Suzie isn’t that mad about it, and even considers it a compliment—but she notes that while a couple people saying her name would be a compliment, “four people is a conspiracy.”

There’s a mini-challenge in pairs this week, as the queens must write Mad Libs-esque Drag Race bios for their partner. There are some very funny lines in here, including Onya writing that Lexi takes inspiration “from Niecy Nash and Aunt Jemima,” and Lexi having Onya introduce herself as Kori King. (Unfortunately, that’s the only good joke from Lexi’s, which is otherwise the clear worst.) Jewels wins the mini-challenge and gets $1,000 for her trouble, and it’s very deserved based on her Suzie material alone: she writes that Suzie’s dream is “to sing on that show where they trade antiques” (I cackled) and that her line of canned cocktails will be called “House of the Great Depression.”

We should’ve seen Lexi’s win coming: she competed and won with monologues when she was in speech and drama in school! (As a former extemporaneous speaking and dramatic interpretation competitor, Lexi, I see you.)

Onya clocks something about Lexi in this episode that I hadn’t cottoned onto: one of Lexi’s biggest issues is that she doesn’t keep her eyes on her own paper. It’s not that she’s trying to copy from the other queens, it’s that she wants to gauge how her own ideas shape up and then gets into her own head about it. Props to Onya for redirecting Lexi’s energy—I don’t think Lexi would’ve been as successful this week if not for her guidance.

There’s a threat of Jewels screwing everyone over with the performance order again, but it ultimately comes to nothing, as she gives all the teams what they want. Critically, though, she and Suzie choose first position for themselves—and as we know now thanks to my deep dive on roast placements in this month’s edition of Wig!, that’s actually the safest place to put yourself on the main-series Drag Race. Good thinking!

Jewels does not appreciate Suzie’s surprisingly demanding choreography. “Suzie wants to be Jamal Sims all of a sudden!” she says in confessional. Meanwhile, Sam is perplexed by Lana’s directions for her. “She gave me a lantern,” she deadpans in her own talking head. “Work.”

In a delightful surprise, this week’s Ugliest Dress Ever runway category is not only explicitly dedicated to the 10-year anniversary of the fan-favourite category, but Drag Race even shows the Season 7 girls in their own looks! It’s so fun to see; I love that Drag Race wants to honour its history like this. Just like a decade ago, the results are decidedly mixed in terms of prompt interpretation: Suzie’s garish Christmas outfit is right on the money, and I love-to-hate Lexi’s 100-tulle-skirt monstrosity. Lana wears Kandy Muse’s pocket dress from Season 13, which is a funny idea, but fails to tell us much about Lana’s drag as it is just a reference to the past. Onya’s Turkey look is certainly unattractive, but it’s more of a costume than anything else. Jewels’ ’80s prom dress is actually cute, but she does do a decent job with the styling. Finally, Sam turns out an utterly stunning garment that is the worst possible fit for this category. C’mon, Sam, you can go uglier than that!

Jerrod Carmichael is our guest judge, and his presence is a signal that this is a secret comedy challenge. As a comedian, of course he’s going to be looking for the funniest work, although he actually winds up liking some of the more earnest stories more than the other judges do. Still, if the show wanted this to be a comedy challenge with a stand-up guest judge, just do that! Again, the shifting criteria this week are frustrating to interpret.

Ts Madison is here again, which means she has taken the lead in terms of rotating judge appearances this season. She’s judged four episodes to Carson Kressley and Ross Mathews’ three each, plus Law Roach and Jamal Sims’ one apiece. Since Law is on deck next week, Ts will end this season with the most or tied for the most, guaranteed. I’m glad that, after several seasons where Ts’ “rotating” status felt a bit vague, there’s real parity between the core three now. Next goal: let’s get Law on every design episode!

“This is a drag competition, and earnest ain’t got no business around here.” I don’t think any sentence Ru has ever uttered before this one has better encapsulated modern Drag Race’s ethos—for better or worse.

The next episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race will air Friday, March 28, at 8 p.m. EST on MTV in the U.S. and on Crave in Canada. Check back every Monday after new episodes for our recaps and power rankings, and subscribe to our drag newsletter Wig! for exclusive Drag Race content delivered straight to your inbox every month.