Place your bets! Announcing the RuCap for RuPaul’s Drag Race

It’s here! It’s finally here! After months and months of dreary non-fabulousness, RuPaul’s Drag Race is back with a vengeance, with Season 4 premiering tonight at 9 on OUTtv. And so I’m announcing a new feature on Toronto Diary for the next couple months: the RuPaul’s Drag Race Rucap!

See what I did there? It was recap, but I changed it to rucap . . . like RuPaul . . . This is what they pay me for.

Yes, for the next three months, we’ll be delving into the highlights of Drag Race and watching with a close eye to see which queens will rise and which will go down in flames. But first, a quick refresher of this season’s queens, for any of you who want to put money down on this. (Not that we endorse that or anything, but . . . yeah, I’m about to clean the fuck up.)

Alisa Summers

Strengths: Ultra fishy, winner of Miss Gay Florida USofA, Chun-Li legs.
Weaknesses: One of the youngest on the show means less experience.

Chad Michaels

Strengths: Experience, creator of the world-renowned Dreamgirls Revue, Cher impersonation second to none.
Weaknesses: The Cher impersonation might cause her to paint herself into a corner.

Dida Ritz

Strengths: Excellent dancer, high energy, a pair of legs that can crush walnuts.
Weaknesses: Fans consider her and Lashauwn Beyond to be the weakest when it comes to makeup skills.

Jiggly Caliente

Strengths: A big girl who can dance, effervescent, named herself after a Pokemon.
Weaknesses: Lacks maturity and attention spa — SQUIRREL!

Kenya Michaels

Strengths: Youngest in the competition, showgirl style of drag, absolutely goddamn bananas.
Weaknesses: All her strengths could backfire and could very easily crazy herself right out of the competition.

Lashauwn Beyond

Strengths: Creative style, works wonders with a sewing machine, hottest out of drag.
Weaknesses: As I said before, fans consider her and Dida to be the weakest when it comes to makeup.

Latrice Royale

Strengths: One of the most experienced, drag mama to many, responsible for the greatest gif ever (see above).
Weaknesses: As the biggest queen ever in the competition, she’s not the best dancer.

Madame LaQueer

Strengths: Huge in Puerto Rico, big queen, strong makeup skills.
Weaknesses: She has a language barrier she needs to climb over.

Milan

 

Strengths: Professional actor, rail thin, wide range of credits to her name.
Weaknesses: Could fall victim to a “jack of all trades, master of none” scenario.

Phi Phi O’Hara

Strengths: Pageant queen, witty, ambitious . . .
Weaknesses: . . . But maybe a tad too ambitious.

Sharon Needles

Strengths: Early fan favourite, evil queen chic, sharp as a tack.
Weaknesses: Could potentially typecast herself as the campy or bizarre one (see: Boxx, Pandora and Flowers, Nina).

The Princess

Strengths: Self-taught queen, gender-fuck performer, fluidity.
Weaknesses: Gender-fuck could potentially be a risky gambit.

Willam

Strengths: Multi-talented, writer and actor, already pretty famous.
Weaknesses: Could wind up losing control if she doesn’t remember to edit herself.

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