New Year’s Eve parties

Dear faggots, queers and others. I have compiled an advance list of New Year’s Eve events to check out, so at the very least you have something to be thankful for over the holiday season. Please remember to nominate one of your closest friends to be the designated hair-holder.

Buddies In Bad Times Theatre (12 Alexander St) presents Strip: A Sexy New Year’s Eve staring a hot butt burlesque performance by the Beefcake Boys. There will be go-go dancers at this full facility bash, with music provided by DJ Shane Percy (Grapefruit, Poof) and Saturday night resident DJ K-Tel. The space will be transformed in a way only theatre kids can. Take it from me, this event sells out every year and you should buy early! All profits go to support Buddies. Come naked or come and strip (kidding). Tickets on sale now at cost $30. Doors open 9pm on Sun, Dec 31; Buddiesinbadtimestheatre.com.

Goodhandy’s (120 Church St) celebrates its first New Year’s with Barreling Into 2007 hosted by Mandy Goodhandy and Todd Klinck. T-girls, T-boys, men and women and everything in between. Entertainment includes barrel dancers and multimedia presentations of the best from the first seven months of the club. Crazy shenanigans and a whole lot more. With promoter Bryen Dunn, aka DJ Triple-X, spinnin’ the tunes. They’ll be serving until 3am and working a $10 cover; limited capacity. Goodhandys.com.

Fly (8 Gloucester St) offers New Year’s Eve 2007 with DJs Juniah, Stéfane Lippé and Hector Fonseca. Tix at the door range from $35 to $45 with $20 tix after 5am and $80 VIP line bypass tix. The party runs from 9pm to 9am. Get your shirts off and dance!

The Berkeley Church (315 Queen St E) hosts AL!VE. Darren Bryant of Embrace Productions presents “A big ol’ gospel house party” featuring DJ Chad Jack and a live performance by Chicago house legend Celeda. This is sure to be a huge crowd-pleaser as Bryant knows his shit and the space is beautiful. Get ready to dress up in your Sunday best! This event will be larger than life. I promise. Tickets cost $40 before Fri, Dec 15; $55 till Dec 31(on sale at Priape, 465 Church St) and, of course, more at the door. Doors open from 10pm to 7am.

Down the street at the Opera House (735 Queen St E) is Steve Buczek’s Onyx Ball. Get in your leather finest and shine those boots. Anything goes! With DJ Reed McGowan (from NYC) and décor by Jeff & Jerry. The dirt stretches from 10pm to 6am and advance tickets cost $35 (available at Priape). Always a wild time. Beefdip.com.

Sonic (270 Spadina Ave) is home to X-Tend Your New Year with DJs Timo Maass, Chus & Ceballos, Hector Romero and more. The fun begins at 9pm on Dec 31 till noon the next day and starts up again at 8pm on Mon, Jan 1, till noon, Tuesday. That’s 30-plus hours of dancing. Tix: $75 NYE or $55 NYD; $100 two-day wristband, with a very special striptease from the Ontario liquor inspectors. So drop that beer, get out of that limo and dance the night away!

The Queen’s Head (659 Queen St W) hosts Soul Boyz Party. Soul, reggae and the oldies with a buffet, a drink and party favours included in the ticket price $15 advance, $20 at the door. Believe me kids, this bar knows how to have a party and get down.

The Boat (158 Augusta Ave) presents Zoi Zoi, a French pop dance party. Set sail into the new year with loads of fun and debauchery. Tix will run around $10 and doors open at 10pm.

The Social (1100 Queen St W) plays host to the incredible, multitalented DJ Diplo (MIA’s ex-boyfriend) throwing down some tracks. Sure to be a crowd-pleaser. Man about town Rory Them Finest and DMT are also on the decks. The $40 early bird tickets have sold out, a testament to the cult following for the bar and the DJs. Advance tix (from Carte Blance, Vintage 69) are $50 to $60. Do not be disappointed. Plan, plan, plan. Thesocial.ca.

The Drake Hotel (1150 Queen St W) presents Shaken And Stirred. Seductive men and women will dance the night away at this all-access house party. Live funk band KC Roberts and Drake resident Rory Them Finest spin. DJ Doctor Baggie hosts his Danceteria along with a sultry French cabaret “Jazz Bohème” featuring Nicole Stoffman and a multitude of performance artists, food, booze, booze and more booze. All night long till 3am. This sounds over the top. General admin is $50 with dinner options at $195. Lounge, Sky Yard and Underground party and bottle service packages run $125 per person. Thedrakehotel.ca.

The Beaver (1192 Queen St W) needs no promotion. Always a good time and good music to be had. Co-owner Will Munro hasn’t finalized details, yet, but promises either a free or low cover for the night. He says to look for “drag, trashy, west-end gayos, without the usual New Year’s hype or drama.”

Next door at the Gladstone Hotel (1214 Queen St W), New Year’s in the Ballroom features Ay Carumba with the Tijuana Bibles (this band must be seen) and Skin Tight Outta Sight Rebel Burlesque. From LA to perform is critically acclaimed Diamond Back Annie. The night promises to be over-the-top fun with loads of champagne, snacks and other eventful happenings. DJ Scottie P of Sophisticated Boom Boom will provide the music; you’ll be shaking your ass all night. Tickets are $30 in advance; $40 at the door. Doors open at 9pm with a show at 9:30pm. In the Melody Bar Mr Kaorake himself Peter Styles hosts the best karaoke in town. This hotel is exxxtremely queer-friendly.

Stones Place (1255 Queen St W) presents a special Shake A Tail, Toronto’s fabulous ’60s dance party. Pop, beat, psyche, ska, soul, balloons, candy and champagne. $10, from 9pm to 4am. Myspace.com/shakeatail.com.

The White Orchid (812 Dundas St W) offers Low Key On NYE. Seven DJs, two floors and cheap shots. What more can you ask for? Adam Marshall, Caff, Dougie Boom, Cryo and Barbi, Sek, Low End Techs — these kids all thrown together is one hell of an event. A nice eclectic crowd under one roof, finally. Tix cost $10 to $20.

At El Convento Rico (750 College St), New Year’s Eve is hosted by Miss El Convento Rico Tula and Mr Rico Randell. The amazing floor show at starts at12:30am; $20 advance, $25 door.

Andy Poolhall (489 College St) has a special edition Synchro promising “No bells, no whistles and no bullshit.” One kick-ass party awaits with DJs Andrew Allsgood, Denise Benson, Mike Tull and special guest Cozmic Cat. Synchro is always a good time and crowded with a good mix of people. Get out and support Denise, the hardest working person in the game. The gig runs 10pm to 4am with $10 advance tickets and $15 door.

As we move into the New Year I want to thank all y’all for continuing to read my ramblings. Though most of you would prefer I just shut up and write… er, sing, I mean. XOXOX.