According to Blind Gossip, every actor in Hollywood is gay and fucking each other. I don’t care if it’s irrational; I choose to believe it’s true every time. From Brad Pitt and George Clooney, to Chase Crawford and Colton Haynes, there are a lot of rumoured gay relationships in Hollywood, but one particular threesome has caught my imagination:

During a recent weekend, this multiple Oscar nominee and this one-time Oscar nominee spent some time together. They watched some sports game together, had a few meals together, and participated in a few leisure-time activities together. All very innocent, right?

Maybe not.

Multiple has a jealous male friend. He is an actor who broke into the business more than 20 years ago as a minor. Now, we’re not saying that anyone here is gay… but Multiple has had a revolving door of girlfriends, One-Time has been in few suspiciously beardy relationships, and Male Friend spends an awful lot of time in gay bars in WeHo!

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The Male Friend wasn’t at Multiple’s that weekend, but he quickly found out that Multiple was spending the weekend with another man. When he found out that it was One-Time, he went nuts! He sent One-Time a flurry of threatening texts and voice mails telling him that Multiple “is my man” and that he had better stay away from or that he would tell the press that One-Time is gay!

Uh oh! But it was an idle threat, and One-Time knew it. He knew that Male Friend wasn’t about to sink three successful careers with one call. But – just to make sure – he and Multiple did a photo op together that portrays them as a couple of regular, macho guys who were doing nothing more than hanging out, watching sports, drinking beer, and talking about girls.