John Travolta is a cheap john

The National Enquirer — you know, the legitimate press — has a new cover story claiming that everyone’s favourite closet case John Travolta hired a masseur off Craigslist and tried to pay him $200 an hour to do a little more than shiatsu. The only thing I find shocking about this story is that John the john is so cheap he’s only rolling out two bills. No self-respecting hooker would touch his Grease lightning for such a measly amount when he could sell the story to a trash rag and make so much cash the only happy endings that’ll be on his radar for the rest of the year are in fairy tales.

The whore masseur supposedly passed a lie-detector test about his rendezvous with John at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

He tried to pay me for sex,” he told the Enquirer. “It was very clear that John Travolta wanted me to perform a sexual act on him and that he would pay me to do it.”

He also claims John asked him if he’d be interested in a threesome, which he declined. Mostly because he was worried about getting dirt under his fingernails while digging up L Ron Hubbard’s grave.

Keep Reading

Mia Starr with an up arrow behind her; Vita Vontesse Star with a down arrow behind her

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 18, Episode 5 power ranking: The first heat

We’re at the intermission of the talent show—how did the first six queens fare?
Juicy Love Dion lying down with her mouth open

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 18, Episode 5 recap: Survival of the draggiest

Rate-a-Queen returns, and brings with it some strong attempts at strategic gameplay
Several roller derby players cheering while seated

‘Rising Through the Fray’ shows roller derby has no borders

Courtney Montour’s documentary follows a revolutionary Indigenous derby team—in all its beauty and power
Ciara Myst with an up arrow behind her; Briar Blush with a down arrow behind her

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 18, Episode 4 power ranking: In fashion, you’re either in or you’re out

The show basically hands us a power ranking this week, but there’s still much to discuss