It was the tattoo that lost them

I’ll give Cover Guy host Mathieu Chantelois this: he sure knows how to whet the appetite. As I took my seat along the catwalk set up in the Gladstone for the Cover Guy season three finale on Aug 16, Chantelois approached me with his gigantic smile.

“They’re all straight,” he said. “Can you believe that none of them knew what a cock ring was? They didn’t even know how to place their penis. When they put on their underwear it was just straight up. We had to show them.”

When the models finally strolled down the runway in their jungle-themed Ginch Gonch boxer briefs, they did not disappoint. There’s usually one fugly model in any beauty pageant who all the spectators hope won’t win – I’m looking at you, Rebecca Hardy – but each one of these stunning man-beauties was a god on the runway.

Aside from the gorgeous men, Cover Guy has one thing over the modelling contests that spawned it. Instead of gratuitously solemnized rituals and elaborate backstory montages, the show is completely upfront that it’s all about showing you beautiful men in skimpy clothes.

It helps that the models tend to be more entertaining, too. Chantelois’ fawning personality likely puts them more at ease than say, the icy laser stares of Tyra Banks or Jay Manuel. If you’re going to put a model in pink tiger-print undies, or gitch branded “Erect Eagle,” he ought to be able to laugh about it.

My pick of the finalists, Joshua, seemed to have an edge on the competition at first, earning praise from the judges for his David Beckham-ish looks and incredible physique but I think he lost his edge during a camera setup when Chantelois teased him about his nickname, “Superman,” which comes from a tattoo of the hero’s logo Joshua has above his crotch.

He seemed embarrassed to reveal the tat to the eager spectators but with Chantelois’ encouragement he strutted down the catwalk with his drawers pulled down to show it off to his adoring fans.

I have to say even though I’m a Marvel fan it was pretty hot. But it may have been the killer for him. How could he ever pose nude without violating the trademark? No underwear company wants Warner Brothers’ lawyers breathing down its neck.

While there could only be one winner – no, I won’t spoil it – each of the finalists walked away with a pretty sweet prize, and I don’t just mean the propositions of cohost Maha Rishi. Ginch Gonch offered modelling contracts to the winner and runner-up. The other two finalists had representation offers waiting for them from top line agencies.

Cover Guy Season three airs on OutTV Sun at 8:30 pm and Tue at 11:30 pm, premiering Sun, Sep 9.