Holiday songs for people who don’t like holiday songs, #1

“I wish I had a river I could skate away on . . .”

It’s that time of year. When you wish you could drive a stake into the ear of whoever thought playing holiday tunes in November is a good idea. When you start to resent every single store for ruining childhood nostalgia because they’re overplaying Vince Guaraldi’s Charlie Brown Christmas album. When you think it’s wrong that people are covering Christmas songs that appeared in the ‘90s. I’m looking at you, Glee . . .

But there is a remedy to all of this.

Yes, the song mentions Christmas, with the opening bars referencing “Jingle Bells,” but it evokes a desire to forget the world, the noise, everything, and just skate away. The song has been covered by everyone from Beth Orton to Sarah McLachlan and even Robert Downey Jr. Christ, even Glee made one good choice by covering it in the holiday special. Just goes to show: not every holiday song has to be cheery and perfect. Thank fuck.

Journalist, writer, blogger, producer.

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