So, Disney World’s yearly unofficial “Gay Day” was this weekend. If, like me, you were stuck at home because there’s no way in sweet baby hell you’re taking out a second mortgage just to buy a bottle of water down there, no worries! I’ve condensed the best, gayest parts of Disney into one single-serving blog post. What are the best, gayest parts of Disney? Sexy princes. Here are the five hottest Disney boys:
#5: Gaston (Beauty and the Beast)
What can I say? No one’s as slick as Gaston. He has biceps to spare, and every inch of him is covered in hair. Unfortunately, he’s not a prince. He’s kind of an asshole, and I’m pretty sure he’s dead, so he just barely makes his way onto the list.
#4: Prince Eric (The Little Mermaid)
It helps that in real life he would probably look like Jon Hamm, and we can all agree that Jon Hamm is totally fuckable. And even better? He has his own seaside kingdom, which is always killer. The downside is that the two-timing bastard will probably end up cheating on you with anyone who can sing better than you can.
#3: Prince Edward (Enchanted)
He is charming, can sing and, unlike the other princes, has the benefit of being played in real life by James Marsden. The drawbacks are that he’s basically thick as a goddamned brick, way too into himself and keeps breaking out in song. It’s one of those things that seem nice at first, but you find yourself feeling stabby every time he sings about riding a streetcar.
#2: Prince Naveen (The Princess and the Frog)
Not only does he have an impressive jawline, great skin and his own country, but he can also cook and play the ukulele. That’s right, he’s just an all-round panty dropper, ain’t he?
#1: Flynn Rider (Tangled)
Okay, first off, tell me that wouldn’t be an awesome porn name. Anyway, sure Flynn is the newest Disney prince, and thankfully, that means he’s one of only two princes with an actual personality that goes beyond “charming vanilla” and “raging douchebag.” Also, he has one hell of a smoulder, and he sounds exactly like Zachary Levi. HOT.