A bisexual artist in Toronto discovers the queer joys of snail mail

Who

I am a 55-year-old bisexual/queer artist, and founder of Toronto’s Bi+ Arts Festival. I live near Lake Ontario with my sweet adopted cat, Luna.

What

An “old-fashioned” snail-mail postcard exchange for bi+ (bisexual, biromantic, pansexual, panromantic, omni, queer, fluid and 2S) people worldwide. I act as a sort of matchmaker for the participants, who sign up online. After each round we get together for a Zoom hangout and “show and tell.”

Why

I started the postcard exchange with the lofty goal of bringing people together. Because bi+ people exist in these in-between spaces, there’s often a feeling of never quite belonging. And I’m hearing from folks that this feeling has only intensified as bi+ support groups and community events have been cancelled or moved online. I was hoping that a postcard project would help people feel less alone.

But in creating this project, I realized how much I personally was craving connection—with some joy and play mixed in, too. Making a tiny four-by-six-inch collage is fun. Checking the mailbox with anticipation for what might be in there is also fun. And the cards invite us to linger with them; I like to turn each one over in my hands and rub my fingers along the paper, tape, glitter, paint or cardstock. Sending and receiving mail also takes me back in time to Grade 6, when I had a penpal. So there’s this element of nostalgia, too. I’m also down with any excuse to bust out the glue stick and craft supplies! 

Zoom events have their place, but as we head into year two of the pandemic, virtual events are becoming less and less satisfying for me. There’s not a lot of magic happening on your average Zoom call.

Making connections

Each round (and we’ve done three so far) has had participants from all around the world: Australia, Canada, Italy, New Zealand, the U.S., the Netherlands, Scotland, Japan and a bunch of other places. I have the cards I received displayed on my bookshelf and whenever I’m feeling particularly down or lonely, I just look at my  “Greetings from Seattle” card, featuring a bi-coloured UFO gobbling up a person, and I smile. Another of my penpals and I bonded over our favourite stationery brand (the exuberant floral designs of Rifle Paper Co.). I’ve received poems, encouraging quotes, a suggestion to try out Earl Grey tea biscuits and the name of a band with the promise that, if I listened to them, they would help “me feel like I am coddled in a cozy blanket.”

How queer is it?

It’s super queer.  

Surprise!

Glitter travels through the mail just fine. Sometimes a postcard takes the scenic route before eventually arriving (one postcard from California took five months to get here). I cry easily (that bit is not the surprise), but this excerpt from one letter was exquisite. “Quarantine has been a challenge for many. I know it certainly has been difficult for me. If it has presented you with adversity, I am sorry. A quote I keep coming back to for comfort is by Rumi: ‘I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.’”

Have you found an imaginative way to create community in these physically-distanced times? Email us your story idea here.