SHANGELA TOP 5
5) Frostula the snow ho
When it comes to the creative challenges, Shangela can’t seem to catch a break, and her snow-ho couture landed her in the bottom (once again). But you can’t accuse our girl of not giving it her all! She dragged that snowman across that workroom like it was filled with free false eyelashes from Sugarpill Cosmetics.
And let it be known, since this episode I have not left a thrift store without asking the cashier, “Please. Can you give a bitch a bargain?” Haleloo.
4) Shangie Drew
Let the truth be told! Shangela is going find out if you used tulle in what was supposed to be an all-hair garment. She is the Nancy Drew of drag, after all. Or Shangie Drew, as I like to call her.
And when Raja acted a fool, while using some tulle, Shangie Drew got down to the bottom of it. Literally.
3) ‘Haleloo, I’m back!’
Shangela made RuPaul’s Drag Race herstory by being the first contestant to come back and compete. And what better way to do it than in a big, pink box?
Plus, the look on some of those girl’s faces is priceless, like they just smelled a big windy fart. Sorry, ladies. Hurricane Shangela is back in town!
2) #JudyJetsonHooker
In an out-of-this-world episode of Untucked, Mimi Imfurst and a liquored-up Shangela (clock the almost half-empty bottle of Absolut on the table at the 1:13 mark) got into a heated argument about their space-aged runway looks.
But when Mimi accused Shangela of having a “sugar daddy,” the fruit (and cocktails) really started to fly. Don’t mess with a drunk Judy Jetson hooker, kids!
1) Laquifa!
When I think of Shangela, I think of Laquifa (what!?!), and Ms Laquifa not only killed this standup comedy challenge; she won it. And rightfully so.
I could’ve watched a full comedy special with the post-modern pimp-ho. Don’t quit your gay job, Shangie (because you are one fierce queen), and keep doing comedy, too, because, bitch, you are funny as all hell.
ALYSSA TOP 5
5) Alyssa’s secret
This design-your-own perfume challenge landed Ms Alyssa Edwards in the bottom two that week on RuPaul’s Drag Race. However, it was really a victory because it was the inspiration behind her hugely successful web series. (Which you can check out here.)
So what is Alyssa’s secret? It’s not that she isn’t hilarious. Because that’s just common knowledge.
4) Face, face, face!
I can’t count the number of times I’ve drunkenly made “Alyssa Edwards mirror faces” on the dancefloor (which probably explains why I didn’t pick up any of those nights).
I want you to make those faces as you watch this video. Heck, give them a try when you’re out in public! And if people look at you funny, just remember: it’s not personal, it’s drag.
3) Alyssa’s jokes
Despite being one of the funniest queens in the history of this show, Alyssa fell short when it came to the comedy challenge. And I, for one, was outraged! I wanted to jump through that screen and tell Santino to please shut the fuck up with his no drag knowledge — now.
2) Dorito-gate
This scene singlehandedly blew up the Tumblr-sphere with GIFs and memes galore, thanks to our girl Alyssa and her arch-rival Coco Montrese.
And for all the right reasons. I mean, girl, look how orange she fucking looked! Made me want a bag of Doritos real bad.
1) Back rolls?
The two most important words in the Drag Race dictionary.
On behalf of your fans, we thank you. For having that back. And having those rolls. And owning them like a true champion (even if you didn’t win) — always and forever.
Alyssa and Shangela perform the evening of Sun, June 29 at The 519 Green Space Disco Disco party.
greenspaceto.org
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