This content was created by Xtra’s branded content team alongside ODLAN, separate from Xtra’s editorial staff.
You’ve been chatting with them on a dating app, and things seem to be going well. There is a connection. An attraction. It feels good. Soon, they suggest meeting in person. They ask if you can send them a little money to pay for a rideshare to your place.
“It is only $30 or $40, but the moment you send that over, they block you,” said Vivian Lee. “And they are going to get away with it over and over again. There is no way for them to be reported to the platform. These micro-scams are very common, especially with older men who want to host. They fall for this quite often.”
Lee is the director of education and strategy at the Open Digital Literacy and Access Network (ODLAN), a non-profit which is dedicated to creating safe, accessible and inclusive digital spaces for Canadian 2SLGBTQIA+ communities through research and training.
As part of its Safe Guarding Rainbow Seniors from Online Dating Scams project, in January ODLAN launched three short, informative videos on YouTube for rainbow seniors and their loved ones about popular online dating platforms, common romance scams, red flags to watch out for and safety tips for online dating.
Funded by the New Horizons for Seniors Program, the videos were created after ODLAN interviewed 11 queer older adults to learn about their experiences with online dating scams.
“We heard some really good anecdotes, and there were some themes we heard multiple times, like the one about smaller amounts of money being asked for,” said Lee. The participants in the research, she said, where self-identifying queer older adults 55 or over from across Canada. Most were in their 70s and 80s.
“We wanted to gather as many perspectives as we could,” she said. “It is an unspoken reality that older folks are still active online and it is important that they have resources that are generated from their own community.”
In 2021, The Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre received 1,249 complaints of romance scams from nearly 1,000 victims with a loss of more than $50 million. While older adults in general are heavily preyed on, rainbow seniors face unique risks and barriers said Evan Vipond, a researcher with ODLAN. Seniors are at risk because many have accumulated retirement savings, may live alone or feel lonely, and may have lower digital literacy.
“Online dating scams and romance scams are a growing issue, and queer people are often targeted, particularly if they are closeted because of the ability to blackmail them,” Vipond said. “Older adults are often targeted because they are more vulnerable—whether that is because of loneliness or isolation. Queer seniors are perhaps even more vulnerable, and there are very few resources for queer seniors looking to date.”
“The reality of queer older adults is that they have often dealt with a lot of societal shame, and combinations of homophobia, transphobia, racism, all of the realities of queer dating in the 1960s and ’70s and beyond. We are dealing with a generation that is used to hiding and not talking about dating,” Lee added. “They are a lot more vulnerable to sextortion, and we do talk about this in the videos, about the kinds of scams that are more commonly found in this community. Particularly when it comes to men who have sex with other men.”
Available on ODLAN’s YouTube channel, the first of the three videos is an introduction to different online dating platforms and who they cater to. They were selected based on the most-common ones ODLAN encountered while doing its research. “A lot of queer seniors want to get into online dating but they don’t know how, or they are overwhelmed, or they don’t know what platforms to use,” Vipond said.
The video also talks about some common safety tips—like not revealing too much information about yourself until you meet in person—and keeping the conversation in-app as long as possible rather than switching to texting a phone number or using WhatsApp, where you may be sent a disguised phishing link where your personal information can be stolen.
The second video includes information on common online dating scams experienced by rainbow seniors that ODLAN heard during its interviews. It includes terminology and definitions, and explains the different tactics used by scammers. It also provides safety tips.
“We have encountered similar stories across multiple interviews in our info-gathering process,” said Lee. “We know that multiple people are experiencing the same scam, but they are not talked about because there is a presumption of, ‘Oh, it is your fault if you fall for it,’ or if you are scammed out of money there is that guilt and shame that comes with it.”
The third video takes a closer look at some of the red flags that, although not necessarily scams in themselves, are warning signs to watch out for when using online dating platforms.
“We really want to help rainbow seniors to have more confidence online, or to venture into online dating if that is what they have been wanting to do but are worried that they do not have enough knowledge,” Vipond said.
ODLAN plans to provide additional resources geared towards rainbow seniors on romance scams in the future.
Vipond said it is also hoped that people who may be supporting queer seniors—such as family members or friends—will also watch the videos so they are also aware of potential scams and red flags their loved ones might encounter.
“Support them but also remind them once in a while if you hear things like, ‘Oh, I met this great person online and I had to send them some money, but I’m hoping to meet up with them soon.’ That is something to think about,” Vipond said.
To watch the videos, visit the ODLAN YouTube channel, and to learn more about ODLAN and the work it is doing, visit odlan.ca.
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