I’ll admit I read very little this weekend. Like most of you, I went to the movie theatre to see Jurassic World and judging from its half-a-billion-dollars opening weekend(!!!), it seems that most of us really love dinosaurs. Or Chris Pratt in khakis. Probably both.
Thanks to Amazon’s self-publishing e-book program, prospective authors no longer have to deal with publishers or editors or even copy editors — they can stream the contents of their imaginations directly into their customers’ Kindle e-readers. It’s a brave new world and a deeply weird one. Starting in 2013, authors like Jane Dashiell and Christie Sims began selling 10-to-15-page short stories for $3 each with titles like Jurassic Gangbang and In the Velociraptors’ Nest, forcing us all to stop for a brief but terrifying second to wonder what raptor cock must look like.
Indeed! Check out this passage from Gay T-Rex Law Firm Executive Boner, about a man named Danny interning at a law firm of gay Tyrannosaurs and, yes, getting a boner:
“Of course, that’s only the beginning of what these ancient monsters have in store for my ripped body. Almost immediately, the T-rex that had picked me up in the first place then positions himself in front of me. Two more of the prehistoric lawyers approach from either side and hold my legs back, spreading me open completely as I’m hammered up the ass from below.”
Chuck Tingle: is he genius, or madman? One of his most recent stories is possibly autobiographical: Lonely Author Pounded By Dinosaur Social Media Followers and in a rare interview, the reclusive author told the New York Observer how his erotica career got started. I assume they didn’t edit his reponse:
50 Shades of Grey started out as an ebook before Random House seized on its spiking sales and made it a mainstream hit. Could the same happen to dino-porn authors? See what movie stars Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard have to say below. We’re living in a Jurassic World now and it can only get sexier!
“Clever Girl” artwork courtesy of Hugo Dourado
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