Once in a while, a straight man might want to have sex with a man, just because he wants to — and it means nothing more than that, says psychotherapist and sex therapist Joe Kort.
Kort writes a blog for Huffington Post, in which he’s recently been exploring themes of why men are attracted to men.
In a recent post about out country singer Steve Grand’s song “All-American Boy” — in which a gay man falls in love with a straight man and they share a quick kiss — Kort explores why a gay man might be attracted to a straight man.
But Kort says that watching the video of the kiss also raises a question for many people: why did the straight guy in the video kiss the gay guy back?
In a follow-up blog post, Kort explores why some straight men are romantically or sexually attracted to other men.
He says there’s a long list of reasons why a straight man might be motivated — from “reliving first sexual experiences” to “father-hunger attention/approval seeking” to the simple “availability and opportunity” gay men present.
In some cases, the straight man’s desire might lead to sexual discovery and coming out as gay or bi, but not always, Kort cautions.
Back in 2008, Kort started Straight Guise, a website and blog with comment posting open to anyone who wanted to have a dialogue about men who have sex with men.
“[Straight Guise] explores the many reasons that men have sex with other men, only some of which have anything to do with homosexuality or bisexuality,” he says.
Bottom line: “It’s up to the man himself to decide if his interest in sex with other men is the beginning of the coming-out process, a sign of early sexual abuse, a sexual addiction, or some other form of acting out. It could also just be that once-in-a-while sex with men is something that a man might want and means nothing more than that,” Kort says.
He jokingly reminds, “As Freud is often said to have remarked, ‘Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!'”
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