Top five homophobic villains

As The Advocate celebrates its anniversary, the magazine looks back on the top 45 homophobes of the past 45 years. It’s a really good list of really bad people, people.

Here are my top five favourite villains:

Ronald Reagan: AIDS blood is on his hands! The president never mentioned the epidemic until a 1987 speech. Nineteen fucking eighty-seven. AIDS had ravaged the gay community, and others, since 1981. He didn’t give a damn about all the deaths from the virus, because he didn’t give a damn about the people it was affecting the most.

The Police: Fuck da police! Before the days of them showing off tricks on their motorcycles during the Pride parade, the police oppressed and abused the gay community. They make the top spot on The Advocate’s list as they reflect on the magazine’s founders’ meeting with the Los Angeles Police Department in 1967. When asked about gay pride marches, police chief Ed Davis quipped that he “would much rather celebrate Gay Conversion Week, which I will gladly sponsor when the medical practitioners in this country find a way to convert gays to heterosexuals.”

Mel Gibson: Usually I like a drunk asshole screaming at me to suck his dick, but his physical and verbal assaults against women, the Jewish community and gays have made Mel Gibson lose all his sex appeal. Of course, the booze bloat and wrinkles aren’t helping, either.

Pope Benedict XVI: Can’t forget the old creep who oppressed millions, condemned all homosexuals to hell and covered up the sexual assault of countless children at the hands of the Catholic Church, now can we?

And since The Advocate excluded her (maybe they thought it was too soon?), I’d like to add Margaret Thatcher: In a 1987 speech she said, “Children who need to be taught to respect traditional moral values are being taught that they have an inalienable right to be gay. All of those children are being cheated of a sound start in life — yes, cheated.” She was also at the forefront of Section 28, a 1988 amendment that stated that a local authority “shall not intentionally promote homosexuality or publish material with the intention of promoting homosexuality” or “promote the teaching in any maintained school of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship.” Rest in hell, bitch!