Just because we disagree with conservatives doesn’t mean we dislike them. Nothing could be further from the truth! Right-wingers are absolutely charming — like “Anne of Green Gables” or Michael Bublé, you just want to pinch their cute little cheeks! But why are they so adorable?
— they believe that Sarah Palin wrote a 400-page book in just four months. That’s so cute!
— They admit that opposing gay marriage is “a losing argument” but fight tooth-and-nail anyway — they’re the Toronto Maple Leafs of bigotry!
— they’re natural prop comics:
— they harken back to a simpler time, like when they declare that women shouldn’t be allowed to vote
— they share the same beliefs as moronic TV sitcom characters. Fun!
— they insist that the Bible is the unchanging Word of God…then scamper off and rewrite it!
— they arrest people in their own homes (oh wait…that’s deplorable…never mind):
— they name their new righter-than-right Alberta party “Wildrose.” So pretty!
— like the cutest, slowest of tots, conservatives in the US Congress need their own Constitution explained to them:
— they try to scare people with tales of “the final assault on our families and American culture by the homosexuals.” That’s adorable in itself…but then they beg for money!
— and finally, they’re just keep getting proven wrong. Again and again and again!
Why you can trust Xtra
