And now, the grossest thing you’ve seen all day

I know that for the most part, those Taiwanese CGI reenactments have died down a bit after everyone realized that not every story needs to be translated into hilarious animated performances. But still, this one is pretty good, if only for the fact that it contains one of the most disgusting computer-generated images allowed on the news since CNN decided they needed to turn Will.I.Am into a hologram.

As you know, anti-gay-hack-politician-turned-delightfully-obscene-slang-term Rick Santorum is running for president down in the States, where he and his fellow Republicans are all running under the same basic platform: “We need to make everyone dumber.” Anyway, those gleefully insane animators over in Taiwan put together a video to try to explain why he exists, and it features Dan Savage dumping an entire bucket of Santorum on his head.

A friend of mine in Montreal once told me about the time he got that stuff in his mouth, and in case you’re wondering: yes, he says, it does taste as awful as you would imagine. He didn’t really specify what kind of awful it is, but I’m going to assume… I don’t know. Tongue genocide? That sounds right. Tongue genocide. I think Santorum is like genocide.

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